Madness

Squirrels darted out of the way as the girl ran through the forest.  She threw branches aside, knocking spiders and inchworms off balance as they wondered what was wrong.  She was usually such a peaceable girl.  Sad, but peaceable.  Not today.  Today she ran as fast as she could to the clearing, not caring what was in her way. 

 

The oaks opened their arms as the girl they’d come to call their own flung herself into the clear open space and buried her face in the lush grass, drenching it with her tears.  As if a silent command was given, they spread their thick branches, weaving them into a dark green curtain.  They knew she would want to be alone.  Their leaves rustled in worried anxiety as they watched her frail body shake, contorting with each gut-wrenching cry.

 

They didn’t know where the girl had come from, but from the day she first wandered into the clearing they taught her everything nature had to offer.  They rocked her to sleep in their leafy branches, humming the secrets of the world into her dreams.  But as she grew, the child that they knew slowly began to disappear.  She no longer danced with the golden butterflies or sang along with the warblers and the finch.  She came running to the clearing every night, begging for the comfort that nature brought as her tears turned the warm brown dirt to mud.

 

Today was the worst.  The sky darkened as she continued to cry releasing the stories of her life through her tears.  Friends who’d loved and abandoned her.  A mother who hated everything about her.   A boy, handsome, but he didn’t understand.  No one understood their girl.  As hard as she tried, nothing seemed to work out.  They rustled their leaves in discontent.   

 

They watched, helplessly, as the rain began to pour.  She lifted her face, allowing the angry drops to sting her skin.  She wanted to give up.  She wanted to allow the only thing that ever comforted her, to take her into its arms forever.  She pleaded silently for the rain to wash her away, but it only came crashing down harder.  With a shrilling scream, she flung herself into the nearest tree banging her fists against its unrelenting bark.  The thunder roared, drowning out her cries.  She couldn’t take it anymore.

 

She wouldn’t.

 

Sinking to the ground, she leaned her head against the oak’s hollow trunk.  She closed her eyes, allowing the violent rain to pound into her skin as she gave in to the madness that was her life.

Author's Note

I don't know where this came from... it just came.

Reviews

[lawrence bear]

wow, quite an ending. wonderful and well penned.

[Ashley Black]

very very beautifully written good job

[Kira]

It seems like a chapter in one of those novels that always makes you cry, no matter how many times you've read it. Maybe a prologue, or the epilogue, or even somewhere in the middle.

[Elvina CZq]

This passage has the mystery story within, yet, it seems like it has told the story with only these words. I like how you used some words in here that make your story strong, such as, "... releasing the stories of her life through her tears," and "... she gave in to the madness that was her life."

You've written it well. It doesn't hang, nor it creates confusion... well, at least not to me. Keep on writing!

[Nianque]

My favorite ! :)

[Katelin]

This is just amazing. Truly amazing. Deffinitely a favorite of mine, I loved it =)

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I loved this. It was very good and I understand how that girl feels. I could relate to this. Half the time I don't think that people understand me. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. If I went insane that would be a little scary to me. Well I still thought this was great. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Epic. You've written this work of art on many levels. This poem has some deep seeded issues around dealing with the issues of life. It has raised many questions in my mind. I'm sorry to be a stick in the mud, but I actually almost have a weird love/hate relationship with the trees. They protect her and comfort her when she needs love the most, but she escapes reality and gets reverted back to a child. In some ways, it seems they enable her and keep her from confronting her issues. In another light, the tree gave her the childhood she never seemed to have. The tree seems lonely as well..I think it needs her as much as she needs it. Perhaps it is afraid that she wont need it anymore if she does confront her problems. I LOVE the story. I really do, but the tree, however chivalrous it is, it feels like an anti-hero. I get an eerie feeling that her well-being as an adult is still neglected in the big picture. Perhaps this is the vicious cycle that incited the madness. Beautiful work. 100(+1)

The oaks opened their arms as the girl they’d come to call their own flung herself into the clear open space and buried her face in the lush grass, drenching it with her tears.

I see the girl running to her adoptive parents and falling face first into the grass. Lying there crying with the mixture of grass and hair..she almost seems as if she is an ostrich with her head in the sand. Awesome!

[Rodrick Franklin McLare..]

Very cool Cattie, apparently a lot of others think so as well. A lot of extremely well expressed emotional qualities. Angst comes to mind as a strong frustration, the anger from things that are not stated but intimated. The deep life of the forest and the words found. That relate, that passing of time. Phases of a girl growing toward woman hood and its more complicated concerns. What struck me was the one possibley tragic event. That change the course of her life. Maybe effect it forever. The forest knew this and was comforting. Not the event, but her pain. So yes I seen these things in your story, very well. Many people think a short is well easier. Its not, you must get a maximum amount of story. In a very small space. One I wrote was: Grandfather alignment swam with the Orca's grave concerns. for their water world and ask for The Earth Mothers help. To soothe their fear. Just try, thinking like an Orca!

So with this you accomplished this with the trauma event. The reader must imagine. This is cool, cause with practice. You'll learn to burn that circle called timing. Where to remind, bring them back to premise... with out being obvious an beating them over the head with it. The balance in form, your character, the surround with discriptive, movement sound, smell. Emotion & The Real Story.

Man hey all that in a short space, in so many lines. I will say that in some while go back to this story after your furthering experience, form it again. Without changing it. Know what I mean? Polish. Why, I won't tell you where, its for you to discover as it is a very good story. In review I'm a reader, I need to see where I stall. Need to double take a meaning, maybe. I say this a lot but its Ebb & Flow. There where some better word choices, I think. Phrases that would smooth out that flow. Help the reader to really show the meaning in your sentence. And, this takes a get deal of thought for you. Each story is your jem, and Cattie Rain. Polish, makes it shine.

I'm going to give you high marks on this one because you've earned them, well. As I rate high. An I love your dog... we have like 6, 2 cats 30 chickens an
a goat. lol
Good work.