Inner Struggle

I’m trying to move forward

While life keeps pushing me back

I’m trying to hold my family up

Instead of focusing on what we lack

 

I’m trying to balance the lives of my family

Trying to make sure these hearts can be whole

I need to keep walking, keep treading this road

But I just can’t see where to go

 

I’m not as strong as I want to be

I cry behind closed doors

When the kids are asleep and my lover is gone

I’m the girl I was before

I’m a child inside with a dream to be strong

To hold my family high

I’m trying so hard to hold tight to this rope

But I just can’t grasp it tight

 

I’m angry!  I hate the way this is going!

I’m ripped up, torn up inside

I don’t understand why we’re running in circles

Why the pain we face just won’t hide

 

What I would give for just a moment of peace

Just a moment to stop and just breathe

To get my bearings, readjust my load

So I can continue the path that I’m leaving

 

For myself and my family to be safe at home

I have to be more than I am

The center support in a crumbling tower

The lion instead of the lamb

 

Though I’m being pummeled again and again

And fighting my own inner wraiths

I’m trying to push myself aside

To give those I love more faith

 

I keep trying to move forward

While life keeps pushing me back

I’m trying to see through the tears and the rain

To recover the things that we lack

Author's Note

Again, unless its a typo please dont ask me to change anything. I realize its not very good, but it came from the bottom of my soul and I can't change that. I'm trying to write out the things that are eating me inside, but its just not coming out the way I'd like.

Reviews

[Tate Morgan]

This tells me alot about you I love the theme As for the poems structure it needs to use singular or plural in each stanza not both like this second stanza
doors is plural but before is not meaning ending in s But it isnt hard to correct this and it makes them flow better
I think it is a great poem And you should shorten it a bit to get through the point early and conclude in a shorter more meaninful way.
I’m not as strong as I want to be

I cry behind closed doors

When the kids are asleep and my lover is gone

I’m the girl I was before

[Frantzuu]

great poem, the descriptions are great and the imagery creates a great picture in the readers mind. awesome writer!!

[Tommy]

Survival, is a hard pressed thing to achieve, but if you keep trying you will gain the strength you seek. Time is the essence to finding the successfulness for the struggle of life. Keep living and you will succeed in your will to achieve. I bet your family already sees the strength that your humility is blinding your eyes from seeing. To me this piece speaks of a vigor for life, because you are willing to sense the true struggle it is to survive.

Great Write!
RLG,
Tommy

[Jenny Nelson]

This is very good. It truly is. Well put and wonderfully heartfelt. Just keep working it out with your words. I know that helped me a lot. If you're a religious person, a little discussion with "The Man" is helpful too. Unfortunately, sometimes issues like these take a lot of time to work out, but keep at it; it'll happen. And I bet you're doing a whole lot more for your family than you believe you are. Don't be too hard on yourself. One day at a time. Clearly you love your family lots and give them all you've got. They know you're not perfect and I doubt they expect you to be because no one is. Again, hang in there and just keep working it out... little reason, little logic, little human interaction where someone's taking care of you instead of the other way around. That's not a failing, it's a human necessity.