Inner Struggle

I’m trying to move forward

While life keeps pushing me back

I’m trying to hold my family up

Instead of focusing on what we lack

 

I’m trying to balance the lives of my family

Trying to make sure these hearts can be whole

I need to keep walking, keep treading this road

But I just can’t see where to go

 

I’m not as strong as I want to be

I cry behind closed doors

When the kids are asleep and my lover is gone

I’m the girl I was before

I’m a child inside with a dream to be strong

To hold my family high

I’m trying so hard to hold tight to this rope

But I just can’t grasp it tight

 

I’m angry!  I hate the way this is going!

I’m ripped up, torn up inside

I don’t understand why we’re running in circles

Why the pain we face just won’t hide

 

What I would give for just a moment of peace

Just a moment to stop and just breathe

To get my bearings, readjust my load

So I can continue the path that I’m leaving

 

For myself and my family to be safe at home

I have to be more than I am

The center support in a crumbling tower

The lion instead of the lamb

 

Though I’m being pummeled again and again

And fighting my own inner wraiths

I’m trying to push myself aside

To give those I love more faith

 

I keep trying to move forward

While life keeps pushing me back

I’m trying to see through the tears and the rain

To recover the things that we lack

Author's Note

Again, unless its a typo please dont ask me to change anything. I realize its not very good, but it came from the bottom of my soul and I can't change that. I'm trying to write out the things that are eating me inside, but its just not coming out the way I'd like.

Reviews

[Elvina CZq]

Just like I've reviewed on one of your poems, a writing that is written with a true emotional way is always the perfect one. Again, you've done it well.

[Daydreamer54]

Well hold on in there and keep fighting! All things work together for those of them that love God and are called according to his purpose! Just some encouragement and i like the poem btw. :)

[Desert Dreamer]

This IS very good. I really like the line "I’m a child inside with a dream to be strong". I think all of us have this child inside whether we know it or not.

Thank you for sharing.

[Jessica Mai]

I love your poems Cattie. They are so deep and they seriously move me. If this poem hasn't come out the way you liked then i can't wait to read a poem that does because this poem is truly beautiful.

[Norma M Sutton]

I don't think you need to change this. It expresses how you/we feel in times of worry and stress. This is very well written. Your feeling come across loud and clear.

[emma]

I thought this WAS very good. This came from your soul and it shows, the emotion is real, I could feel your frustration and fear.

[Coyote Poetry]

Life is hard sometime. We must look above the pain and stand strong for our family. The poem was powerful and I could feel the desire to feel safe again. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Doreen]

We must be strong in the face of it all. This is a heartfelt piece, and came from exactly where it should have - your soul.

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Interesting thoughts that you have penned in this....Keep the creative pen flowing..Sunflower

[MissWordSmith]

wow.. inspirational is not the word...this was.. amazing... so touching....i loved it !
so honest.... and there were some astounding metaphors tucked away quietly in this piece. your writing is so beautiful... stay strong..