What is Love?

[song-fic] "What is love? Is it giving up? Cause that's not how you raised me." 'I may not know what love is, but I know this is definitely not love.'

[In a sitch like this you've gotta think
And I don't think you think about the way he thinks
And I know you live life for yourself
But it all comes down to the way you help]

Yelling. All I heard now was yelling every night. I just laid there in bed, wanting to scream at them to stop. My hands curled in tight fists. How much more could I take of this? Why did they have to fight every night? Will they ever get tired of it all? I try and go to sleep. I remember when I was little and they would always sing me a lullaby. Now that is replaced by screaming every night.

Tonight it sounded like Mom had went shopping when we couldn’t afford it. She always does stuff like that. She never thinks about how we are going to pay for stuff, or how much she puts dad through. For as long as I can remember she’s always been like that. She’s only cared about herself.

“Why in hell do you not care about this family?!” My dad yelled.

“F**k you!” She screamed followed by something that sounded like glass shattering.

[And I know your life is such a hell
You wake up early and you work until
You have your drinks at 5 o'clock
The hours blend and your thoughts all haunt]

I woke up to the screeching of my mom pulling out of the driveway. I looked over at the clock and it read 5:12. She was running late to work but I already know she will be on time getting home. After all she always has to drink at 5 o’clock. She always claims her life is such a living h3ll, but I don’t see how. But when she’s drinking you can tell she is thinking about it all. She just sits there staring at her drink not even acknowledging me.

[Your hopes, your dreams, your everything
Well, momma I hope, I dream, that you won't leave]

I know she’s thinking about all she could have had. If only she wasn’t stuck in this family. I know she hopes to leave us one day. She’s always dreamed of having everything a person could have. But I just hope and dream that you won’t leave us, because this family is everything to me.

[And I have a question!
What is love?
What is love?
Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh
Is it giving up?
Well cause that's not how you raised me, yeah.]

Every day I ask myself the same question. What is love? My parents always loved each other when I was little. I always thought it was magic to be able to love someone so much. But now I wonder if love means giving up on that person. If that’s what love is, then I don’t want love.

[In a sitch like this you gotta think
And I don't think you think about the way
She thinks
And I know you work hard every day
But it all comes down to the way you're
Paid]

I could hear the front door slam from my room. My dad must have come back from his job early. Normally he doesn’t get home until later. His steps sounded heavy and tired. He always worked hard at his job at the construction site.

“You’re home early. You got laid off again didn’t you?” My mom’s voice was poison. When he didn’t answer she yelled, “You are a useless son of a B***h! You’re pay is no good and you don’t even try!”

[And I know you're oh so sorry dad
I truly believe that you're a better man
Than to share one kiss then give away
All the love you come home every day]

Even though Dad didn’t say anything I knew he was sorry. Not just for losing his job. I’ve known the truth for some time now. I don’t know how much longer he can keep it a secret. I’m sure Mom already knows. That’s probably why she started to drink in the first place. After all that is when it started to happen.

“Why don’t you leave me for that little s**t next door?! Because I know you’re happy with that little affair that you are having.” She screamed.

[To your hopes, your dreams, your everything
Well daddy, I hope, I dream that she won't leave]

I just sat there in my room. This is it. She’s going to leave. She’s got a good reason to. I don’t want her to go. I want the happy family back. But I can only hope and dream. I know it will never happen.

“I can’t take it anymore!” I already knew she had her bags packed. She had packed them as soon as she got home. I just didn’t want to believe that she was leaving.

[And I have a question!
What is love?
What is love?
Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh
Is it giving up?
Cause that's not how you raised me.
And what is love?
What is love?
Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh]

Tears started to run down my face. I heard her head towards the door. I silently slipped out of my room and quietly walked down the stairs. Before I knew she just left. She wasn’t there anymore.

I just stood there with Dad. I quietly asked, “What is love?” Maybe he would know the answer, or at least I want him to know the answer.

[See, I don't know anymore;
I used to look up to that love.]

“I don’t know, bud.” He said quietly, “I don’t know.”

I may not know what love is, but I know this is definitely not love.

Author's Note

This was for a contest on another site, so I thought I would post it here.