False Hope

I had to write this for literature class. It's about a slave's life.

They took me away from my home
across the white raging foam
to a new faraway land
that the white men thought was so grand

Oh for my home I long
where my heartbells had a song

I looked slowly around me and found
that to other slaves I was bound
then we came off the corrupted boat
there I saw a man holding a note

Oh for my home I long
where my heartbells had a song

The man harshly moved me away
and he threw me down where I lay
I felt I was being moved again
but it was not to where I had been

Oh for my home I long
where my heartbells had a song

I was sent to the wide open plain
where many slaves felt so much pain
where the sun melted me all day
but I said to myself, "Come what may."

Oh for my home I long
where my heartbells had a song

For I could not, would not go free
for surely they would capture me
but oh how I long for freedom
when my master says, "Don't feed 'em!"

Oh for my home I long
where my heartbells had a song

I often dream about running free
oh how much good it would do me
to watch the starry night sky
and knowingly let my life go by

Oh for my home I long
where my heartbells had a song

Author's Note

This is about a slave's life.

Reviews

[Willow]

Neat. It was reminiscing I assume? Good job at fitting into the shoes of a black slave. I'll attempt to review you now.

Alright, first off "big evil boat" sounds a bit corny. I would change it to the "immoral boat" or the "corrupted boat" that just seems more apt.
I would change "for they would surely capture me" to "for surely they would capture me" It fits better with the cadence of your rhymes.
I like your description of heartbells. It's lovely.

[Poetic Tuesday]

This is very good, I love it. C: