Weighless Flight

To what do I owe the pleasure

Of your presence here tonight

No single sweet measure

But your eyes and their light

And into which dream do you venture

In this weighless flight

You are the brightest treasure

Ever to cross my sight

But do come in, I say

Now that you stand here

Lie with me if you may,

Remain still in my sphere

Though not worthy of your stance

I swear this oath to you

To never leave this blissful dance

Even once life is through.

Reviews

[LSS]

Its been quite a while since I was in on the cafe, and your weightless poem was the first one that caught my attention. Since the first time I read you, I saw your potential, I am not surprised to see you become a budding, growing poet; playing with rhyme and catching prose and hidden messages within what you have written. A small note of assistance: you should try to have a smoother rhyme to your poems, develop a cadence; count the syllables in each line (they don't all have to be the same), and when writing your next couplet of verse keep the same order of syllable count. (ex. 6-8, 6-8, 6-10, repeat) Here's an example: "Oh the old cow flew past, caught her tail in a mast, and was swung round and dashed to the sea. So should you set your sail, without anchor or nail, you might find that you plummet as she." (6-6, 9, 6-6, 9, etc.)

[Charlène Boutin]

I haven't been on here for a while, either, and just noticed this comment... thank you for the advice. I really do appreciate it, and I will keep this in mind!

[@zeewhykay]

Ca me fait tellement penser a "Child of Light" de ubisoft. Chaque ligne de dialogue etait de la prose-poetic. Tellement jolie a lire.

Almost a "pledge of allegiance" to love itself !

[Lauriegirl]

This is wonderful..so creatively penned

[...]

it s very nice for reading. all rhymes go well together and all make sense . it s really great writing. thank you

[Charlène Boutin]

Happy you liked it :)