Loves War Wounds

~ Collaboration by Dagonut and Ray { Not a Poet } ~

Loves War Wounds Rays Verses ************ At first she had great desire Then again,~ she could have been a liar Told me how much she loved me Then again,~ I should have waited to really see   She really had great love for me Then again,~ she could have just used me to get where she wanted to be Does this thing called love really exist Now that it's all over I'm not sure of this Just add another,~ to the hurt me list   Dagonut Verses ************ Giving my heart without reserve Takes more than a little nerve In her palm all it takes is a grip And through her fingers my love drips   I've never gotten my heart back in one piece Former loves keep souvenirs So now it looks like Swiss cheese Paid for with heartache and tears   Rays Verses ************ My heart beaten and used over the years Its enough to bring any man to tears Is there an honest woman,~ left somewhere That wants true love and for me will really care   The heart is a very fragile thing True love is all I wish her to bring I have looked for her from shore to shore To bad you can't buy true love in a store I would buy it before it is to late For soon I won't be able to afford the freight   Dagonut adds ... *************** But love cannot be purchased with A coin, a bill, a gold bar or gem It's priceless and attained only if The person you love, resides within   On the battlefield of love lay remains Of a hundred billion broken hearts Ironically still within them contained Is a singular glowing spark   The puddles formed of their misery Mixed together amongst the debris Who knows, maybe love can arise Amongst the casualties By Dagonut and Ray Hamilton © Copyright 7 / 2008 All rights Reserved   Thank You Goes Out To Dagonut For his Talented Pen In This Fun Write No offence Intended To The Ladies Without You Life Would Be Worth Nothing   Please visit Dagonut He is a very talented poet Click picture

Author's Note

This was written as two men having a conversation back and forth about their lost loves,
I have no idea if this has been done before or not, but its something different { I think }

Reviews

[Suelou]

Awwww gee! This sure brought tears to my eyes. I know all about hurt, pain and a broken heart. I have often asked myself these very same questions. Yes, it is too we can't buy true love out of a store. I'd be the first one there. This is absolutely beautiful!

[doreen cyr]

I think this was done very well. and haven't seen it before but you two nailed it
doreen

[emz]

Ahhhh I loved this, two very talented men... i thought this was clever and beautifully written

Well done you both


x

[Angelic Darkness]

I believe both of you did a great job! I love hearing a mans opinion about
love lost, broken hearts. At least I know there are some men that do have
feelings and can be as sensitive as us. AD

[Nicholas Hallows]

A very enjoyable read. Well done chaps! It flowed very well and your individual voices fit together nicely.
I found the 'Rays verses/Dagonut verses' a little distracting when I was reading through. I think the poem might read easier without them. Maybe just use a different font for each other. I also agree with Michael about the music. I don't really think it is necessary. I had to turn it off to be able to focus on the words and rhythm of the poem. I think the poem is easily good enough on it's own.
Overall, a really strong poem and a great collaboration.
Nice!

[Thomas James Martin]

You guys should write country music. This is a great, great line: Former loves keep souvenirs

Tom

[Janice Ann]

I like the collaboration. I thought it very unique and heartfelt. I love the last stanza, perhaps love is a war...we all fight in it everyday, and we get through it most days! Good work both of you!

Love lots!
Janice Ann

[Helen Woodward]

This is an unusual collaboration Ray, being two male writers, but it works very well
You are both talented and have a lot to say about hearts, crikey they get a beating don't they?
Good effort guys...I liked the flip from humor to serious issue...
Helen...

[HoorayForUnderdog]

OMG I laughed so hard when I saw the "Place Head Here" noose! too funny. You guys did great with your collaboration! The poem flows nicely which can be tricky when combining 2 different writing styles.

[Samuel Dickens]

Much must be risked in love and war.