~Closure Denied

the passage of time does not lessen the inquiry
        .......the inner and external scrutiny
the self doubt that is still haunting me
     your sudden and random
abandonment...
Silence and how you managed to circumvent
any elucidation..an explanation
My loss of dignity
..pleading on my knees
I would have done anything
..and you knew it...


You were a calculated risk from the start
..your bloodied lonely heart
the anger turned within
the thin man's de(mean)or
Rage within and calm pleasantries
 ..you could not have been greener
Colloquialism of a small town
You had not been around...
I was  your first One..first to break ground
  ....foreign soil

And in one day you just walked away
..after more than half a shared decade
not a word to say.....
(a touch of scorn and shame
...leaving me the blame)


Your life is going very well
 ....and you did not look back
slid right back into track
my constitution is not built like that
    ....infused with confusion...
Was it my illusion
 That we could have had it all
I have a funny way of seeing potentialities
...ignoring realities
(dismissing all those little white lies you fed to  me)
Obviously I could not see..

The ways you hid that you were discontent
(a touch malevolent)
Was there some way I could have helped prevent
all that boiling malcontent
or perhaps..in truth...
...I was never that important....

(c)  Katherine Wyatt 2010