~serial monogamy and the bleed

 

Rolled up in an asphalt chamber

bleeding through the cracks you made

pounding with your fist like thunder

seeking light for some escape

building Barbie dolls to worship

holding hate in cherished goblets

torn between your light and darkness

pour the blood of Jesus on it

 

He wanted to find that “One Woman” that could fill the void inside of him.  The fact that she had to be from another country and willing to relocate in the US for him was, in his mind, irrelevant. Life was simple for him, one Church, one way of being right, cops are good, blacks are bad, and anyone who disagreed with him was “unnnAmerikkaaaan”. 

He sent her money, $350 a week, all the way across two oceans. He had decided that she was “The one”. She was about the hundred and fourteenth one, not counting all the “Ones” he met during his 25 years of marriage. They had occasional spats but it wasn’t until he insisted she come to the US that she stopped talking to him. She shut down Skype, Facebook, and the new computer he had sent her.    He was heartbroken at first, then outraged. In the meantime, he was engaging dating sites in her area for available women, but she was still “The one”.

 

 

Love disguised as walking wounded

scarred from shadows shedding skin old and worn

words fail the heart seeking solace

outside the Source, yet in form

 

Vision unable to split the darkness

dislocating angel’s wings

falling from the heavens broken

seeking redemption from murdered kings

 

He stopped sending her money, telling her that his money was made in America and if she wanted it she had to come and get it.  She had. in a moment of weakness, contacted him. He told her not to do so again until she was ready to come to the US. She rolled her eyes at the drama and said nothing. She Skyped nothing, emailed nothing and nothing more would be exchanged between them. While he was busy explaining she was emotionally unavailable, and flashing pictures of a busty blonde named Tatiana he was planning to fly across another ocean to meet, she had realized the bullet she dodged. He was explaining how he had promised to take care of her forever.  She was done pondering why he would be retired in 18 months and refused to move to her country. He was explaining how 18 months was too long to wait to be together. She moved on as they had wasted time being virtual for two years with two visits. He never thought to turn his inner lens on his own patterns.  She was tired of falling back on conditional love.

 

As the anthem of the angels

swept across her eyes,

gods gaze  a  moment

aching at the human bleed across the crimson skies

 

 

(c)  Katherine Wyatt    All Rights Reserved    2016