Seems like this poem might be talking about cycles that need breaking - the pregnant woman is obese, smoking, maybe with a drug habit (or is the "next hit" food/nicotine?). Why is she having a baby? If she's miserable enough to do all that to herself, why would she want to bring another human being into the world? I think that's the message - or maybe just one of the messages - here.
Your narrator also appears to see strong similarities between skinny and obsese people, viewing both physical states as self-abuse triggered by low self-esteem and misery.
I think you did a good job with symmetry for the first two stanzas; they aren't exact, as that would have been tedious to read, but the pattern is obvious enough for the reader to pick up on it.
I also liked how the "Why" in stanza one and two as a continuation of the sentence about forgetting, but when we get to the final line, "Why?" is a question, so we look back and the other two "Why"s can be viewed as questions too. Clever.
It's written in a direct, straighforward way - fitting for the content (if I've understood properly).
Good piece and good question.
Thanks for posting it.
As strong now as the day you wrote it, moreso perhaps as we are fatter. I was suprised by the way the poem developed from the junk junkies to the junk food junkies, very clever that, very true. The line about 'hugh starving bodies' is the best one for me. Both types of junkies are out of balance with how it is best to be.
Being born to a fat pregnant junkie woman must be, ach... a difficult start in life.
Seems like this poem might be talking about cycles that need breaking - the pregnant woman is obese, smoking, maybe with a drug habit (or is the "next hit" food/nicotine?). Why is she having a baby? If she's miserable enough to do all that to herself, why would she want to bring another human being into the world? I think that's the message - or maybe just one of the messages - here.
Your narrator also appears to see strong similarities between skinny and obsese people, viewing both physical states as self-abuse triggered by low self-esteem and misery.
I think you did a good job with symmetry for the first two stanzas; they aren't exact, as that would have been tedious to read, but the pattern is obvious enough for the reader to pick up on it.
I also liked how the "Why" in stanza one and two as a continuation of the sentence about forgetting, but when we get to the final line, "Why?" is a question, so we look back and the other two "Why"s can be viewed as questions too. Clever.
It's written in a direct, straighforward way - fitting for the content (if I've understood properly).
Good piece and good question.
Thanks for posting it.
There were 2 sides to this piece for me...the stereotype and how society views people who are skinny or fat. A skinny person really may be a drug addict but they could be just skinny by genetics. The same with someone who is obese. I couldn't tell for sure if you were trying to dispell the stereotypes but that's what I like about it. It made me think.
On a more general level, this was a true cross-section of how today's society is addictive. Whether it's food, work, gambling, shopping, video games or actual drugs...many of us are addicted to something. This shows the desperation of someone who is so caught up in something that they only think about the next time they can get it. Sad and tragic.
Why? I think it's because everyone has some sort of mechanism to help them cope with life... how bad it can be for some, and how they need to escape. I know I've been down this road, and not liked it. I practice moderation in all things now, but sometimes that need to be excessive crops up. Regardless of whether you're fat, skinny, ugly or pretty, lots of things over time can become too much.
You've raised some very valid points about society here. This is a perennial problem that's not about to go away in a hurry, I fear.
J
This is dreadfully sad and depressing and yet it so succinctly describes the main human sector of today's society. "Why?", possibly the most important word in the poem, is well balanced, always bringing the reader back to the overriding question.
The images confront the reader fast and full on, painted in haste with an innate observation that captures form, movement and mood in so few strokes.
Extremely thought-provoking, it raises more questions than it can ever hope to answer. Extracurricular reading for politicians.
Diane
Yes it does show that you are talking about 'society', not having a go at people with these problems. You have insight, empathy, understanding and caring. Too bad others don't see things through your eyes. Very powerful statement without the reader feeling punched in the face. Not sure how you did, but you did. It's a terrific poem with an important message. Just makes me all the more privileged for knowing you. ~smiles~- M
What a powerful statement in your words ending in "Why"
Why is society at an all time low? Seemingly so uncaring, so many drugs and abuse
around.........
Full of misery, forgetting who they are
inside. Stopped listening to the
little voice, inside their
huge starving bodies.
Their lives are
Food
and that next hit
that next bite
to make them feel right
so they can forget
Why�.
I think this is clever that you question, yet your poem contains the answer.........
so they can forget.