Swallow the sorrow

I don't wanna come back I hate this place

I say repeatedly every time I get into an argument with my mother

I hate you

I swear to ...

I love you

I made these decisions I thought would better myself 

or did I make these decisions just to hurt you

or did I make these decisions to grow

just like the relationship of you and every other surrounding person you've been around these past few years

just like the grapes on the vines that end up in that bottle of wine that's sitting empty on your kitchen counter

I feel like you've put me on the back burner

you used to try to understand but as the older I get the more you give up

you know I was never stable

you know I was never the one to fit in

so why'd you give up

just swallow up all your fear and get the f**k out of this place

what is life if you don't take a chance

that month where i was out on my own I missed you

but now i just feel bad

I feel bad for the way this family treats each other

You gotta god that I can't see but I'm still learning growing and looking for the one to be my Savior

I have no pride to bottle up but I'm getting there I swear I am

it's so close but don't drink it its mine

I'm doing this on my own so why do you deserve to have it when you have yours

I'm learning family isn't blood anymore

 its the ones who don't turn around and slam the door just to leave it locked so you can't go back in that will be for you in the very end

so why do I try?

Why do I try and mend things with the ones that used the fire to burn me the most

I guess that's how things get when your lonely 

I guess that's how things are when you're not comfortable in your own skin

Author's Note

I'm still learning how to make my writing better and could really use some advice so don't hesitate to tell me what you love and dont!

Reviews

[Jordan Williams]

i thought the use of "f**k" could have had a stronger impact if you only used it once. maybe wait to use it in the 2nd stanza and say: "I say repeatedly every time I get into an argument with my mother/I hate you/I f*****g hate you" i absolutely loved the grape and wine and family isn't blood lines though, great imagery