A Psychotic Rant

A way to express my feeling in the past and present days.

A Psychotic Rant

 

Why do people have to be so complicated?

When you need someone the most they are never there for you.

It seems like its planned at times,

like they resent you for some reason so they neglect you for awhile.

You message them and they go offline.

Like the shell of some sort of candy I have to hide everything in the vast daytime,

but at night when no one is around,

I feel "anxious" about absolutely nothing.

I have everything I could ever want.

I have friends, good grades, a great family life, a new phone, the confidence to sing in public,

the confidence to write poems and let the world see them,

and yet, I feel weird.

Like there is a weight pressing down on my chest,

making me feel like I am suffocating.

Then there are the times where I feel empty,

alone for no good reason.

And then there are the times where I resent myself,

for feeling these ways and thats when I stop.

I dont talk or move, I lie awake just thinking the word why in my head.

Sometimes a tear will shed,

a little one, but its there all the same.

Once that happens I tell myself to stop it,

remembering all the things I have in life,

waiting for me ahead.

I think, what are friends good for,

if you can't talk to them,

if all they do is laugh at you when you tell them these things.

I worry about the future too.

The dangers of love, the pressure of a family.

My mother does a great job parenting but what about me,

how will I be?

I am not afraid of death though.

When it is my time, I will know,

and I will go willingly.

Nothing can stop fate.

Things happen, whether you want them to or not.

At the moment I feel that pressure.

I think I should walk away now,

go do something,

what though, who knows?

There is nothing better to do,

so the only thing left is to just close my eyes.

If you read this and feel pity for me, don't.

I do this to myself; not on purpose of coarse.

But strictly to hear myself think.
 

Author's Note

*This is not a poem or a falsity written on here for your enjoyment, this was purely a rant about the way I feel right now and the previous days prior. Goodnight and good luck.*
-dave-

Reviews

[Raven Wilson]

Wow, I like this rant, its very connected to the way I feel, thank you for psoting it, makes people feel less alone.