A Bird Upon an Empty Sky

It is a poem about a bird in search of perfection if it sucks its my first poem don't be too mean.

      A Bird Upon An Empty Sky

   Your life is like a never ending cycle.

You fly and fly but never really know your true destination.

Like a neverending vortex of which you can't escape.

Time elapses before your very eyes.

Years have passed in what seemed to be as days.

You are steadily anticipating the very moment your body collapses from the agony your dreary life has enforced upon your soul.

Knowing your restless spirit will never surrender until it is at peace you carry on with your wearisome life.

At the end of this sorrow filled life you have endured you will discover that the true reason your soul will never be at rest is because you were searching for something that does'nt exhist.

You can never be at rest if you are in search of perfection.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

its my first poem so don't be mean i just want to know if i did ok, thanks

Reviews

[nora]

holy crap, this is fantasticc! is this for real your first poem? because, woah, this is great. the lines are a little bit long, but its still super good :) the flow of it is really story-like, and i love it xD

"You are steadily anticipating the very moment your body collapses from the agony your dreary life has enforced upon your soul."

the imagery in this part is great :) i could totally imagine this little bird just collapsing from the sky and stuff :)

"At the end of this sorrow filled life you have endured you will discover that the true reason your soul will never be at rest is because you were searching for something that does'nt exhist."

this part, is just, wow. i mean, thats practically all i can say. the whole concept of searching for something your whole life, only to find out that it doesnt exist is just breath-taking. great work, bunnygirl :)

[Sseoni]

Wow! This is your first poem! Unbelieveable! It's fantastic! I loved it! The use of vocabulary was beautiful and vast! I really enjoyed reading this! A wonderful poem! :D

[~Shadow Kissed~]

wow nuff said :)

[Ian Duncan Arbogast]

Very nice job for a first shot.You have to appreciate good, from-the-heart poetry like this.

[John McGrael]

for a first poem this is pretty damn amazing, my first poem was probably pretty terrible, i dont even remember it xD

i really like it though, i like the theme and the vibe and stuff

and this is one of the few non-rhyming poems that i really like

[Jim Clarke]

I like this poem because it captures how precious time is to us.

[Ellen Hammond]

Wow! It is hard to believe this is you first poem. You have a wonderful talent and grasp of reality! I find this deep and well layered as it speaks to the heart the truth that perfection on earth does not exist. Very nicely done. I look forward to reading more of your writes, while watching you blossom here.

[KyRa A.]

wow who ever wrote this rocks lol

[Phenomena]

WHOA!!! u did more than ok my BFF:) Awesome:) I am speechless:)