Roulette

probably (most likely) brought on by reading/influenced by Allen Ginsberg

If I had a couch, I would lie on it,
and sit, and sit, and sit, and lie
as I lie, and lie, and lie repeatedly, reclining to
stare at my feet, stare at my ceiling; it
seems to me to be a big chaotic mess
of jumbled sentences I made back in the grave, back in the womb, back in my brain.
just one mistake- make the change, make a dare, play the game:
risk to monopolize, scrabbling for one more twisted way to say sorry,
roll the dice, roll my eyes, roll my time:
there's a demon playing poker with my life upon the cards.