Nostalgia

A Story by buddhas-buddha

I inhale the smoke of the incense, harsh and angular words flowing smoothly out of my mouth. Shatra buddhi vinashayak, deepak joti namastitae. One whiff takes me back years and days and months, all at the same time. Divya Divya deepak kar, kanikundal moti har. Suddenly, I’m on the bed at my maternal grandmother’s house in the heat of the Indian summer. Divya la pahun namaskar. I’m at Patel Brothers, an excited 15 year old, overreacting and overwhelmed by the food surrounding her. Yaygha yaygha lakshmi, bais ga bajai. I’m at my paternal grandfather’s house, looking out over the shrouded hills, watching the sun rise and set, and rise and set, and rise and…Amchai ghar tulasasai deeva ca tel, kapsa chi waat. I’m at the Taj Mahal. Deeva thaoula madha(and I jumble up the sounds)rati. I’m bathing in Ganga-Jal. Aamcha gharala auounthaouishlao. (I wonder if I said that right?) I’m at a temple, I’m roaming the night bazaar, I’m being urged to buy this, urged to try that. Pranamvishamsaadhavam, gauri putram vinayakam. I’m being pushed left and right, what is that smell? Bhaktaswasi marainityam ayukamarsitityadham. The headaches, the dirt in my eyes; Pratamavakra tundakam ekhadhantya twitiyakam. the roaming cows, sheep, horses, dogs, bullocks. The tuk-tuk of a motor rickshaw, the duh-dhum duh-dhum of an overnight train, the gentle rocking back and forth, the sound of festivities and joy bouncing from wall to wall. Lambho Darapanchyamamcha…The spicy food, the sickness; the ornate clothing, the tacky “western” styles…Ghalinglotanganavarinacharyani… The family, the intimacy, the gossip…Tvameva Mata, Pita Tvameva…The sights, the smells, the sounds, the feel of that atmosphere on my skin, on my face…Hare Ram, Hare Ram, Ram Ram Hare Hare…The joy, the pleasure, the leisure…Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare… I’ve only been there 8 times at the most, and each time, only for two months. How can that have such a profound impact on me? It shapes the way I think and the way I feel. What were these experiences? They were more than vacations, more than trips to meet the family. Eight times, and I’m longing for more time. Eight times, and constantly, I am taken back to those memories, every day. Eight times, and I remain forever nostalgic.