Draft Dodger

Two years after I turned 18 and at the height of the Vietnam Conflict I finally registered for the draft. During those two years I lived less than 300 feet from the local Recruiting Office.

Not wanting to go die for Nixon and the Military-Industrial Complex I waited two years after I turned eighteen in 1970 to register for the draft. I was regarded as a draft-dodger. However, registering at all regardless of age and having never been apprehended made it impossible for Uncle Sam to prosecute me. Upon registering I immediately applied for 1-0 status as a Conscientious Objector. I refused to carry a weapon or cause bodily harm especially death to any other war participant. It took two applications, half-a-dozen letters, phone calls, five office visits, four handwritten drafts (NO LESS than 3000 words), a definitive thesis statement, auto-biography, collaborative references or written statements and a typed finished report of six or more pages not including the nine page filing questionnaire. 

Eight weeks of sweat and grit, three letters after filing stating I was being reviewed and finally a standing oral report before a panel of five all White Male Army Officers including follow-up questions from all five Board Members. Did I use drugs? Had I ever engaged in Illegal, Clandestine or Anti-Government Activities, belonged to the Communist Party, been a Vietnamese Sympathizer, or (The Best) slept with members of my own Sex. I pretty much lied out right a number of times during my responses. Especially about f*****g other boys. How was it relevant? Did they think I wouldn't be able to kill men, women and children if I had sucked a dick? I wouldn't kill anyone but it had nothing to do with my being bisexual, male, an Artist, Hippie, Drug user, Community Volunteer, Underground Newspaper Reporter, Education, or who I had sex with (but since I was attracted to and slept with both genders why would I want to kill anyone). 

It took eight weeks and three additional letters informing me that I was under review but I finally got my draft card with my Status listed as 1-0 (CO) Conscientious Objector which I immediately set aflame. I still might be required to attend the party but I wouldn't have to bring a present or drink the Kool-aid. Two weeks later I drew a 385 on the induction list which was way above the top limit for inductees. It took two more years for Tricky Dick to pull it out of "The Yellow Man's" a*s but I never heard from Uncle Sam again. Like Lincoln said in 'Hair,' "S**t! I ain't dyin' for no white man."