Frankenstein's Story (Winner of the Empty Heart Award)

You might say the void was longing for the sea, Keep still and listen to the rainbow's end. Our stretch had grown so wide we touched the stars, The pelican's last eggs, the whale's useless songs.

Reviews

[Swagato Saha]

Powerful visuals - and there's this constitutive ambiguity that runs through the work. Recently, I had a somewhat forgettable exchange with someone on this website on this question of ambiguity - why not explicate things to the end for the reader - and I am glad I am not alone in the "ambiguity camp".

I wonder if you've ever considered extending this poem? Thank you for sharing!

[bubbafreesnake]

I've messed with the poem to the point where the original meaning has been submerged. I wrote the original version over 50 years ago, I think. The first line was: A rocket's plunge has tilted toward the sea. In some ways, it was better than the one now. And I had 'moon' instead of 'stars.' The moon landings were still on everybody's mind in addition to the Cold War.

[Ciara]

There's a lot going on here and I do often struggle to find the thread but to me this feels like a poem/story about extinction.

[bubbafreesnake]

The first version I wrote indicated much more clearly that there are unexpected untoward artifacts like extinction to our ever-advancing technology.

[Ciara]

So on some level I was correct. :)

[bubbafreesnake]

Yes, you were right Ciara. By the way, thanks for commenting, Bubba.