Chapter 4-Yellow

Disappointment and Rejection

Chapter 4-Yellow

“I managed to talk to her for a long period! YES!” I happily walked down the street jumping around. It’s like I finally get to talk to a girl in real life without failing, I love that feeling. Instead of just walking back home, I decided to change my path and go buy me some ice cream to “celebrate”.

While enjoying the scenery of the path, I saw Lotus. She wasn’t alone. “Who could that be?” I thought. She was taking her phone out and the man talking to her was taking his phone too. I suddenly felt this heavy feeling. Curious I am, hiding between the walls and observe those two. After a few minute of talking, the man walk back to his car and Lotus waved.

I really want to walk up and ask her, who is that man, what are they talking about and more… A thought suddenly came to my mind “But won’t she feels that I’m weird asking these question? I don’t want to look like I’m stalking her or something? It’s her space and privacy; let’s just leave it at that….”

I bought my ice cream and went on home. And as always I turn on my computer and start playing. When Lotus is online, she invited me. I accept the invitation, but this time, there was someone else with us, someone I never seen before in my friend list.

“Who is this?” I asked her.

“Oh he’s my friend” She replied.

“From our school?” I asked again.

“Oh no, I just met him today” She answered.

“It must be that guy I saw with her today” I thought. That heavy feeling I felt before came again. “But there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just a normal friend.”….. “WHY AM I EVEN WORRIED? IT’S NOT LIKE I LIKE HER OR ANYTHING” I smack my head at the wall continuously.

We played for several hours and ended that day. Throughout the day I just can’t stop thinking about what Lotus is doing, how Lotus is doing, is she okay? But that doesn’t necessary means that I like her. Right?

I asked Lily about Lotus a week later “Hey Lily, ummm, do you know if….Lotus has a crush or anything?”

“She does.” Lily replied immediately

“WHO IS IT?!” I immediately stood up and look at Lily with my eyes wide open.

“Just kidding, I just want to see your reaction, Ahahahahaha!” She laughs out loud while patting my shoulders.

“Why would you do that…?” I sighed.

“Why not? I’m sure you like her already by asking me that” She looks at me with that smug look again.

“No I don’t, I’m just curious, that’s all.” I sat back down. In my own mind, I am there having a conversation with myself. “Do I really like her?” “Am I denying my true feelings?” “If I really do like her can I really chase her?”

“If you don’t admit you like her I’ll tell Lotus that Carnation asked me this question.”

 “ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I LIKE HER, DON’T TELL HER ANYTHING ABOUT THIS” I whispered to her immediately. A few second after I said that, I face palm myself. “What did you just said Mianthus, Mianthus Tary, what did you just said?!” I told myself.

“D’aww, gotcha!” Lily winks at me with an evil smile, evil to me it is. “Although…” she continued “Lotus did keeps on mentioning this guy named Jaz these days, I heard he played the same game as you guys did? Maybe she likes him?”

Yes, yes he did. But I did not say that out. I kept silent. “Maybe she likes him” keeps echoing through my mind. I started thinking about how she is playing with him and talking with him a lot in the internet these days. I felt this uncomfortable feeling, I felt… Jealousy.

“I’m back!” Lotus came into class after going to the bathroom.

And this very moment I felt something even worse, I felt disappointment.