Dead Streets

Dead Streets

A Poem by Brandon
"

Something that just came to me. Any feedback would ne appreciated.

"
My mind feels empty and my heart feels weak. Aimlessly walking the dark and lonely streets. There was a man I once knew who told me to keep my head up. I just saw him fall down. So I walk this dead end town. Bottle empty, falling from my hands. The end is in sight. So I grab the slipping drink and hold it tight.

© 2017 Brandon


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This could use a little more background as to why your mind is empty and your heart is weak. Even if its just a coupe of words. Is it from a broken heart? Loneliness? Death?

I just saw him fall down. I know the word down sets up the following rhyme but it doesn't sound quite right and may possibly be redundant with the word fall.

Bottle empty....even though I assume its alcohol, it may help to specify more with a name.

So...a little more info and specificity I think would help. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago



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119 Views
1 Review
Added on June 23, 2017
Last Updated on June 23, 2017
Tags: Alcohol, broken, lost

Author

Brandon
Brandon

MA



About
My names Brandon I've always been big into writing, my close friends are usually the only people that ever get to see it. They say it's good so I thought it was time I share some of it and see what ot.. more..

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