He Lost His Best Friend Tonight

13th poem

He lost his best friend tonight

Nothing in his world is alright

Everything is crashing upon him

Everything is turning so dim

He risked everything for this

Her hug, her laugh, her kiss

He thought it was all worth it

At least he tried and didn’t just quit

Tonight he made one wrong move

This just all goes to prove

Best friends weren’t meant to become more.

Reviews

[Red Brick Keshner]

How true, how inevitably true.

[Lizzy]

oOoOo
i like
my favourite thing about this poem is the end tis very clever

[appologies for my utterly shite reveiwing style]

and very interseting too

all too true

=[[
but besides my musings i would like to say: a really good poem i like this verry much
keep up the good [and intriguing] work!

[Raef C. Boylan]

I agree with Thomas Snider about the final non-rhyme lending closure to the poem, being finalising; it's like your conclusion to the whole thing.
I'd add a colon (:) after "prove", to increase the impact of that last line...although it might lead to you needing to punctuate the whole thing, so it's up to you. Maybe insert one and see what you think about it?
The title is well-chosen; i was intrigued. It should make people think about their discriminatory attitudes too, as many will be surprised when it turns out to be a girl.

Thanks for posting this.

[Sweet Solitude]

that's deep. i luv it

[Thomas Snider]

This is an excellent work. Very sad, and the message and experience is clear. It's got a sad beginning, to the reason for this at the end. The flow was a bit shakey though, but in the end worked itself out to be just fine. The ending holding no rhyme is an excellent choice because it adds closure in my opinion, without the conventional rhyme ending. Excellent work!

-Hp.