.

You sit there in your chair,

Getting yelled at.

You wonder what's wrong.

So you ask,

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Then you get a simple reply,

Only it's not simple at all,

It's as so,

"What's wrong with me? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"

So you sit there,

Having no clue what you did.

You want to ask again?

Well don't.

You'll get yelled at even more.

Why you ask?

Well it's quite easy to explain,

Only again not really.

 

So let's see here,

What have you done wrong recently,

Nothing,

Nothing,

and nothing.

Hm, any idea what it could be?

Well,

I'll tell you this much,

It doesn't matter that you did nothing,

You did enough to make nothing something.

Nothing = A possible something.

It's a facile equation,

Correct?

No?

What don't you get?

Everything you say?

Don't you mean to say nothing?

Or a possible something?

Exactly.

Confused yet?

I don't blame you.

What we are talking about here,

Is something beyond human contemplation.

Why do we men get yelled at for nothing?

Well,

Here's your answer,

Periods.

Yes,

Periods.

Periods = Hell.

So yes,

Guys when you go to hell,

Make sure you bring plenty of Midol.

Anyway,

Back to the point.

How to avoid women while having their periods.

Well,

It's impossible.

They will infiltrate your mind.

You can say they have what I call PP's.

Period Powers.

Kinda like Super Powers,

Only 10 times more powerful.

The mind tactics used in Period Powers are strong.

In fact,

So strong,

Your mind will think it has blown up,

Then been put back together by a hot glue gun,

Then shreaded by a paper shreader.

When in reality,

All that happened,

Was a girl used their PP's on you.

One word to say here?

Insane.

But how do you know if you're ever got PP'd?

Trust me,

You'd know if it happened.

As I stated before,

Mind = blown up, glue guned, shreaded, but nothing really happened.

 

All in all,

I'm finally going to answer your question entirely.

Actually,

Now that I think about it,

Don't ask me.

I'm the one sitting in the chair.

Reviews

[Saturnalia]

It's nice to hear this from a guy's point of view. My PP is very strong. I think I've destroyed quite a few people with it. And yes, it's impossible to avoid. Just today, I used my PP to get inside my friend's head and tamper with a few things. Just don't ask girls if they're on their period. Even if they are, you will get killed. Just a heads up.

Anyway, thanks for cheering me up. This is hilarious and I especially like the ending. Nothing = Period.

[Sam Cambell]

This made me laugh so hard I almost cried. I loved the ending especially. Although, consider yourself lucky you're the one sitting on the chair. Believe it or not the screamer has it a LOT worse than you...

[MusicMartyrs]

this was quite entertaining, the secret to getting out of the chair is to have your girl start taking the Midol the day before she's expecting her period instead of once all the pain and hormones are already in effect and she puts you in the chair :)

[Ama May Cooper]

Hahahahha great amazing despite being one of those woman that im not just sayin this myself dosent change at all durin those period power weeks ive seen a good amount of girls freak out and blow there tops.

[Jules]

This was funny =] Yet very, very confusing. I liked the twist you put on this in the end.

[AmberCRUNK]

LOL, this is funny :]
Although, I don't think my powers work.
How did you end up in the chair ;]

[Celtic Cat]

LMAO......oh my poor man was sitting in that chair on Saturday. I'm assuming your lady doesn't have PP's for a good three weeks out of every month...so consider yourself lucky!!! I think most men breathed a sigh of relief when Hillary lost the election, because could you even imagine a President with a period? Although....maybe she doesn't get them anymore. I'm sure I don't know.
I love the PP's......too damn funny. If only I felt more powerful when I had it....it only makes me feel inhuman. : (
Here's to scheduling all your hang-with-the-boys time according to the PP onset! There's one way to keep the peace.....of course an empty chair may infuriate just as much. Gah...it's a no-win situation. This piece was great, thanks for the laugh!!!

[The Mad Prophet]

Very creative, makes me scared. They do have some hold on us, and when they are not themself, we can't be are self. Very creative, and funny.