When We Were Together

5th

 

As I look over the horizon,

Watching the sunset,

I remember when we used to watch it,

Together.

 

As I look over the ocean,

Watching the waves pass,

I remember when we used to jump in them,

Together.

 

As I look over my shoulder in class,

Watching you with him,

I remember when I used to be that guy,

When we were together.

Reviews

[Jules]

I LOVE the repetition of "together" and "we". It really sets the tone for the poem quite nicely. I also love how relatable this poem is, breakups or loss of friends are really tough, and many people often find themselves thinking of when they were together with that person. I enjoyed reading this. It reminded me a lot of something I would think whenever I looked at a specific person (except thinking about a guy) during class.

[Adela Muresan]

You managed to reflect an imense pain in the last strophe, and I think that you did a good job by not chosing a fancy language.

A.M.

[*~Poetic_Essence~*]

This is a sad poem..I like the way it flows and the reoccurrence of the last line..its repetitive and shows the loss of something that you may which you had again..I think this can be relatable to alot of people..I know I can relate to it..sometimes feelings linger, even when the person that you were with moves on..I enjoyed the read...
Well From One Word-Play Poet To The Next...Always Remember To Write With Your Heart!

s~Shanty~s