Beyond What They See

16th poem

 

With her head on his chest

With all their troubles put to rest

They lay there under the tree

Looking beyond what they see

 

Beyond what they see

They see what they can be

Lovers till the day they die

He with no other girl, her with no other guy

 

He promises to guard her with his life

As long as they will become husband and wife

She nods to him, giving him her heart

Trusting that he will not rip it all apart

 

So now they lay under that tree

Thinking about what they will be

With love leading the way

There is nothing left for them to say

Reviews

[An Ever Present Agony]

*Drawing Parallels Between The Character's Lives and My Own*
*sniff sniff* I remember what that was like. Feeling all the love in the world and believing that it would never go away. Thank you for the eloquence in your work that allowed me to remember what it is to love and be loved in return.

[Dawn Jones]

mmmmmmmm, love... that'll change the older you get. You have a romanitic heart. That is good in a writer... especially a poet... but it could get you in a lot of trouble one day so be careful... or you might end up writing like I do. You've got the rhyming down. Good job.

[Jeremy Manginell]

This is a very sweet poem that reflects a sense of young innocence and a bit of naivite. I like that its left open ended and allows the reader to build their own path beyond this feeling, beyond "what they see" if you will. The only real criticism I have is with line 4 of stanza 3: "Trusting that he will not rip it all apart." The "all" should be deleted as you are referring to a single heart, reading "Trusting that he will not rip it apart."