House that is No Home

House that is No Home

A Poem by bryandc15
"

House is not a Home

"
This house is no home,
      this building with no love.
This group of people are not family,
      missed all love,care,and trust.

I wanted this once,
      and now I regret.
I should've chosen what I need.
I should've been contented with it.

This house I'm now living with
      seemed a hell in Earth's crust.
The house I'm seeking now
      was a paradise in disguise.

In here, I'm sick.
      Nobody knows.
In here, I'm dying.
      Nobody cares.

This is what I wanted once,
      I deserve this.
A severe punishment,
      and a dark way with no return.

The home I'm seeking,
      would stay in my heart.
Even if I'm in this house
      of terrible darkness and painful memories.

Despite the madness I suffered,
      two hands of mine remained up.
Tightly holding on with my loving mother
      to our really caring God.


-bryandc15

© 2013 bryandc15


Author's Note

bryandc15
I'm glad you read this piece. I'm not really aware and confident on what types of review this poem will receive. But since you have this poem read, then I'd like to thank you.

God Bless.

My Review

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Reviews

I dont really review poems since I cant really critic them but I did like this.
This group of individuals are not family, kind of threw it off a bit but its still good

Posted 11 Years Ago


bryandc15

11 Years Ago

Thanks.
Taylor H.

11 Years Ago

np
I should've chose what I need. 'chosen'

I deserve this. 'deserved'?

very good poem, good sentiment...the idea of home is nice here

Posted 11 Years Ago


bryandc15

11 Years Ago

Thank you. I may consider your suggestions.
A nice simple poem. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


bryandc15

11 Years Ago

Thank you.
"I should've be contented with it." - should be or should've been
"This house I'm now living with
seemed a hell in Earth's crust." - Tense, living in, seems
Great Poem!! Your work is beautiful! Keep Writing!!


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

bryandc15

11 Years Ago

I'll consider your suggestions. Thank you:)
Beautiful Poem! The flow and harmony of it fits well and it tells a sad yet (obviously) poetic tale... I absolutely love it!! Probably one of your greatest pieces (though not saying your other ones aren't great too.)

Posted 11 Years Ago


bryandc15

11 Years Ago

Thank you.
Very nice expression of what we think we want is not always the best for us. You do a great job in expressing this in a manner that is very succinct and effective. Nicely done. Thank you for sharing this with your readers.

Posted 11 Years Ago


bryandc15

11 Years Ago

My pleasure. Thank you for this review.
great piece...simply but wonderfully written...first we want a home in which no one come to you or talk to you...but after much time we feel that we need a presence of someone who would talk to you and help you...keep writing.

Posted 11 Years Ago


bryandc15

11 Years Ago

Thank you:)
Devanshu Rajput

11 Years Ago

your welcome
Interesting poem. I like the idea of wondering what home really is; how some things we want can often be things that destroy us. Overall pretty good, nice pros, nice structuring, good flow. Keep up the good work!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

bryandc15

11 Years Ago

Thank you.

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602 Views
18 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on February 12, 2013
Last Updated on March 6, 2013
Tags: Home, house, love, care, sadness, darkness, emptiness

Author

bryandc15
bryandc15

Legazpi City, Roman Catholic, Philippines



About
I'm currently studying at Bicol University College of Arts and Letters and taking up Bachelor of Arts in Journalism. http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?q=writing+is+my+passion&hl=en&sa=X&biw=1143&bih=72.. more..

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