House that is No Home

House is not a Home

This house is no home,
      this building with no love.
This group of people are not family,
      missed all love,care,and trust.

I wanted this once,
      and now I regret.
I should've chosen what I need.
I should've been contented with it.

This house I'm now living with
      seemed a hell in Earth's crust.
The house I'm seeking now
      was a paradise in disguise.

In here, I'm sick.
      Nobody knows.
In here, I'm dying.
      Nobody cares.

This is what I wanted once,
      I deserve this.
A severe punishment,
      and a dark way with no return.

The home I'm seeking,
      would stay in my heart.
Even if I'm in this house
      of terrible darkness and painful memories.

Despite the madness I suffered,
      two hands of mine remained up.
Tightly holding on with my loving mother
      to our really caring God.


-bryandc15

Author's Note

I'm glad you read this piece. I'm not really aware and confident on what types of review this poem will receive. But since you have this poem read, then I'd like to thank you.

God Bless.

Reviews

[Taylor H.]

I dont really review poems since I cant really critic them but I did like this.
This group of individuals are not family, kind of threw it off a bit but its still good

[bryandc15]

Thanks.

[Taylor H.]

np

[gombeggar]

I should've chose what I need. 'chosen'

I deserve this. 'deserved'?

very good poem, good sentiment...the idea of home is nice here

[bryandc15]

Thank you. I may consider your suggestions.

[AWickedMoon]

A nice simple poem. :)

[bryandc15]

Thank you.

[Darkening Shadow]

"I should've be contented with it." - should be or should've been
"This house I'm now living with
seemed a hell in Earth's crust." - Tense, living in, seems
Great Poem!! Your work is beautiful! Keep Writing!!

[bryandc15]

I'll consider your suggestions. Thank you:)

[Harley Rose]

Beautiful Poem! The flow and harmony of it fits well and it tells a sad yet (obviously) poetic tale... I absolutely love it!! Probably one of your greatest pieces (though not saying your other ones aren't great too.)

[bryandc15]

Thank you.

[KurKota]

Very nice expression of what we think we want is not always the best for us. You do a great job in expressing this in a manner that is very succinct and effective. Nicely done. Thank you for sharing this with your readers.

[bryandc15]

My pleasure. Thank you for this review.

[Devanshu Rajput]

great piece...simply but wonderfully written...first we want a home in which no one come to you or talk to you...but after much time we feel that we need a presence of someone who would talk to you and help you...keep writing.

[bryandc15]

Thank you:)

[Devanshu Rajput]

your welcome

[Keith LaFountaine]

Interesting poem. I like the idea of wondering what home really is; how some things we want can often be things that destroy us. Overall pretty good, nice pros, nice structuring, good flow. Keep up the good work!

[bryandc15]

Thank you.