THIS IS ME!

need comments:)

essay only.....

                     On the 27th day of January, last year 1997, Ms. Rosalie L. Del Castillo had gave me birth at Bicol Regional Teaching and Training Hospital. I was born innocently and have no any idea of what the world is, what it consist and how are all of them relevant to me. I was born being myself and now I live as myself. No matter how others dislike me, no matter what they say behind my back, and no matter what they do unto me and unto the persons around me, I would still stand straight and proudly tell the world who I am.

                     My friends during high school days used to tell me that I am so mean, that I am not good in getting along with other persons and dealing out with them. Thus, making me aware that they also talk about my negative sides when I am not facing them. Some says that I am unfriendly. Some thinks that I am too boastful. And some persons do think that I am gradually changing to worse. But I still don’t care about what they say. Instead I am happy because I can express myself in the way I know.

                     There are several lines from the song “This is me” of Demi Lovato that had inspired me to write this. Those are: “This is real” because I am real. I’m not fake, I’m not wearing a mask that covers the real me. “This is me”, from the title itself which says that ‘I am being myself’. I’m neither you nor them because I am me. I am kind as a friend. I’m an evil as an enemy. I am friendly. I am good. I am materialistic, I am selfish. I am boastful, I am dependent. I am faithful, I am generous. I am good-hearted. I am who I am. Another line is that “I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be now” which means that I won’t be changing myself anymore. Maybe, I would need to impress others but I’ll do it on the way I could, in the way that my personality would remain. Nothing would change, everything would be maintained. Because it is sweeter to be loved by others as you are than to be praised by everyone even if you don’t deserve it. “I’ll gonna let the light shine on me”. Being who I am, I would show them all what I’ve got. I’ll tell them what I know and I’ll let them witness my success despite of my bad sides in which I accepted because I remained as myself.

                      A friend once told me that there would be no problem if I’ll be changing myself if it is for my own betterment. Somehow, I found myself thinking that ‘Yes! She might be right. But do I really have to improve myself? I mean intentionally? I don’t think so,’ I told myself. ‘I may not be as perfect as what they expect me to be. But do I have to change just because they don’t like me? I don’t have to. Maybe someday I’ll change because nothing is constant in this world except change, but that change would be done unintentionally because I would never ever wanted to change myself just because they say I need to. Instead, I would be change myself because I want to and also because I know by myself that I need to. No one should dictate me to change, let me be the pilot of my own plane. Let my mistakes teach me with the principles and consequences in life, and let me be the cicerone of my own.

                       Let me leave you with an advice, “Don’t be pressured to change just because of someone. Instead, if you would be changing yourself, let yourself know that you need and want it to. Because only you can express yourself. Don’t let someone change you. Manage your own business. Tell them that you don’t care about their lives, because you are busy doing yours.”

Once again, This is me, Bryan Del Castillo, born as myself and living as myself.

Author's Note

hey..... pls review this:)

Reviews

[CHRIS ANDES]

this is a very honest self description as what I felt on your words
I just wanted to clarify the line "had gave me birth"- I guess you can improve it to be more effective like removing the 'had' or replacing the word 'birth'.
well, its just a suggestion if you don't mind
=]
anyhow,the whole writing is perfect

[mhaie]

I like this. Nice! :)

[gombeggar]

very thoughtful...single minded after a fashion but a full knowing of one's self and potential in a way

[KAOlmsted]

Good for you. You could work on your grammar. A little editing goes a long way. Thanks for sharing this with us.

[bryandc15]

I sent Read Request because I want you to know me better.

[CecilA]

Bryan,

Reading this essay has allowed me to look into the soul of bryandc. Great job. I love the honesty and openess.

I have a couple of suggestions:

Because of the difference in the Philippine and English languages I would write this out in your native tongue and make certain of your verb tenses and any other grammerical issues relevant to your essay. Then I would rewite it in English. Compare the verbs .

Here are a couple of ideas ; 'had given birth to me', 'have no idea', 'I'm not good at getting', 'some say that I am unfriendly', 'some think that I am boastful', 'you are busy living yours','I know personally that I need to', 'if you go about changing youself'', 'during high school days, my friends used to tell me'.

I recommend that you break out your dialog; put it into separate paragraphs so that we know whom is speaking to whom.

This is not meant as criticism; rather sharing ideas which might make this very good essay great.

If you haven't already done so, read your writing aloud and make notes as you do it. For an even greater review, read it into a recorder and then listen to it another day. It's amazing how it will improve your writing. Why, because that's what your audience hears.

I enjoyed the time I spent in the Phillipines during the Viet Nam War. Your fellow countrymen/women and children are wonderful people and you have such a rich and desirable culture. Plus you have a lovely piece of the world's geography. I am a better person for having spent time there.

You have great potential. Keep your characters honest and always telling the truth as you have done in this essay.

Sincerely,

CecilA

[bryandc15]

oh thanks...... i appreciated your review so much.... love you!!!! God Bless!

[Jess]

wow;-)nice piece bry,,,keep up the good work!!!!

[bryandc15]

thanks!

[Jess]

your always welcome;-)

[bryandc15]

:)

[Hazim Haemoglobin]

I found this interesting. It's not a story. It's an introduction to you and a study of your own psyche. I think you may need to indent a bit more so it can be easier to be read. I can't really critique this other than point a few grammatical stumbles here and there (like the 'I would be change' in the 9th to last line) but I appreciate your personal declaration all the same. Keep writing!

[bryandc15]

thanks!