Brooding Clouds

Thoughts on a dull day ....

The clouds are hanging low and moody

Staining all our thoughts as they drift aimlessly across our mind

The sun is fighting hard but only sparkling slightly as the day unfolds

My mind is filled with strong emotions as they pass by

Releasing my deepest thoughts, fears and desires

A day for reflection as the world seems still

The river omnipotent in its eternal way

Never bowing to the forces of nature …

Just moulding itself as required by the wind and rain

Boats wallowing in its power as it allows them to pass

Seeking shelter from the storm yet to come

Our lives follow a similar pattern ….

Swayed by the river of emotions that carry us along

Bombarded by the winds of change .. and softened by the calm of the evening sun

We feel the wind… touch the rain … and bow to the sunset as the day disappears

To reappear replenished at the dawn …

Allow the mind to run free .. release the demons before the dawn..

Seek the peace and tranquility of your soul ….

 

Phil Sanders

26/3/08

Reviews

[None]

Your poem touches deeply and gives such wonderful advice...
"We feel the wind� touch the rain � and bow to the sunset as the day disappears
To reappear replenished at the dawn �"
...Great words to shake off the dust before the sun comes up! With the sunrise comes new beginnings. I know you like sunrises!! Very well written. Such beauty within.

[Ani Ashford]

Hi Phil,
Thanks for sharing your thought and emotion landscape in your poetry. The river runs swiftly and deeply. Transitions in life take a lot of courage and endurance as your poem beautifully translates those emotions into a word painting. I can just see the boiling, dark clouds, the river moving through the landscape of life, and feel the wind and rain. Thanks. Well done. I almost felt as though those words were speaking to where I am now.

[Carl]

Good peice here. I liked the way you likened life to a river. The way the river moves us along as it refines us and knocks out our rough edges so we appear refined and having learn't from our mistakes. Your peices are always full of great imadgry. Water clouds and boats are the strands that always hold your peices together. Enjoy your peices very much

[jen -- JG]

A wonderful mix of nature and emotions.

As always you marry both together in an understanding manner.

A beautiful write Phil

Well Done

Jen

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I loved this because I have a son with an intense fear of storms. This illustrated many emotions a simple cloudy day has. It can take on a life like quality and hidden meaning and spark in us wonderful but looming feelings. Your poem painted that picture.

One thing to consider is something I was told once. I am a great lover of ellipses and feel they lend a dreamlike quality most times. A well respected critic told me I use them too much and I can get the same effect without them if I try. Some people find them distracting. Since I overuse them I took his comment to heart. You could do either...keep them...or not. :)

Other than that I LOVE the poem it is really a terrific read!

[Gary H]

This reminds me of the seafront in Hastings where I too have felt the same ideas you have written about. I think you are very brave to write an opening line mentioning the word 'cloud' as immediately 'I wandered lonely as a cloud' springs to mind.
There's a nice feeling of peacefulness to this, no, tranquillity is what I'm looking for, before the rains come down, splish, sploshing into the water.

Nicely done.

[Haruki]

Phil, your words fill me with such a peaceful beauty! Great write!

[R J Askew]

'Swayed by the river of emotions' is the line I like best. I enjoyed the moody observation and the way you hopped from the observed world to the emotional parallel. Old Father Thames is a great character.

[Fran Marie]

An Awesome piece,Phil, wonderfully penned~Fran

[waywithwords]

I will re-read this awesome poem often my friend. I could not have found such powerful descriptive words that you have well chosen. Quite electryfying my friend. Anne.xxx