History

A walk through the past in my mind ....

The history seeps through walls

As down the street I walk

The stonework sends its messages

I listen as it talks

I hear the cries of long ago

When life was simpler then

And people walked more slowly

I wonder how and when

The ancient rooms are singing

With the sound of children’s joy

The laughter resonates around

From every girl and boy

So will the generations

That follow us as well

Still listen for that history

And all the tales it tells

 

Phil Sanders

6/12/07

Reviews

[Kim Kruger]

Phil, you capture the essence of what you see so splendidly. To some, old walls are nithing more than crumbling stone or bricks, but to others like you and I they make us wonder and ask questions about their past. Thank you for sharing your introspection.

[Emily B]

I didn't know, I couldn't comprehend history until I found myself in the streets of Germany and Italy. Walking through Potsdam on the one thousandth anniversary of that town was almost more than I could fathom.

I try to do my part to teach the public about the span of history that we do have. Schools don't teach it. Most people are sadly ignorant about something that is so very important. I envy you your history.

[Andromeda]

amazing!

[Chris Bighorse]

I really enjoy the concept of this poem. It might have something to do with my new found love of history and the things that it may teach us. However, I think a little revision is in order.

The history seeps through walls
As down the street I walk

I find this sentence a little confusing. The subject changes constantly so I have no chance to really focus on the really important images; that is: history seeps through the walls. The sentence which follows suddenly sweeps away that amazing image and replaces it with a street, oh wait no, the person walking. I'd suggest completing the thought with the wall, and what it might represent, the barrier between our world that the world of which you speak.

The stonework sends its messages
I listen as it talks
I hear the cries of long ago
When life was simpler then

Again, great concept, however I feel that word choice is an issue here. First, the repetitive description in the second and third lines: listen and hear. I think they mean the same thing. And history goes from talking to crying in a single leap. I think choosing one or the other might help shorten it a little. I think that "Cries" isn't a good description of that 'long ago' time of which you reference. I imagine you want us to look upon those times as something hopeful and valuable, so I think maybe a more . . . happier(?) word is more useful here.

I wonder how and when
The ancient rooms are singing
With the sound of children's joy
The laughter resonates around
From every girl and boy

I love this, however, I think it can be squashed down. I'm not sure how this can be accomplished.

And you end it powerfully, putting ourselves at the mercy of future people. How will they interpret us? Will they think we were happy or sad? There are broad questions brought up in the mind that definately give this poem the overall tones that are reinforced by the beginning images. The title is misleading in idea, but is clearly referenced as an overall theme, although it is our own we end up considering. Great write. Hope my review helps.