Refined Trijan REFRAIN
The Refined Trijan REFRAIN, is an adaptation of the Trijan REFRAIN,
created by Jan Turner, which originally had refrains in L1 in all three verses.
The Refined Trijan REFRAIN consists of three 9-line stanzas, for a total of 27 lines.
The first four syllables of line 5 in each verse
are repeated as the DOUBLE-REFRAIN for lines 7 and 8.
The Trijan Refrain is a rhyming poem with a set meter and a rhyme scheme as follows:
Rhyme scheme: a,b,a,b,c,c,D,D,c
(the REFRAINS are the first 4 syllables of line five).
Meter: 8/6/8/6/8/8/4-4 REFRAINS/8
My Review
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This is a great piece of work. A bit melancholy, I think. I'm not so sure about that last part though, "Love overcomes..." Sometimes overcoming is a bit too difficult. I know we are supposed to love one another as ourselves, but it ain't always easy. There is a dark blotch in my heart that occurred well over thirty years ago. It remains there today as a reminder of utmost betrayal. Forgiving is not as easy as it might sound, even though it's the right thing to do.
Thanks for bringing up those bad memories...only kidding.
Have a blessed day.
Posted 10 Months Ago
4 Months Ago
SORRY for late reply! I just am not on here much lately. Thank you for reading... sorry for the Dark.. read moreSORRY for late reply! I just am not on here much lately. Thank you for reading... sorry for the Dark Blotch.. yikes :/ Such is life huh? Thanks for the review! :-)
A beautiful expression of life's twists and turns, Celebrating innocence, love, and lessons learned, The poem captures the paradox of choices we face, Reminding us that love overcomes with its embrace.
Did you write this?? I like the format. something about someone of royalty having written this . Thasks for sharing
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 Year Ago
Did I write this?? Umm Yes. Why on earth would you assume otherwise? I have no author notes creditin.. read moreDid I write this?? Umm Yes. Why on earth would you assume otherwise? I have no author notes crediting another author, only the form. My thoughts and poetry are my own. I am not in the business of forgery or stealing a poet's work.
1 Year Ago
Oh my. I meant no offense. I was just curious. Its very well written. I would like to add you to a .. read moreOh my. I meant no offense. I was just curious. Its very well written. I would like to add you to a book of poets that I am compiling. Is that ok with you? We call it a Zine. Short for magazine.
Hi Susan. With courage and wisdom granted, we find serenity. In the vastness of time we are but children, forever learning during our brief lives. Your thoughts are so eloquently penned in this beautiful poem. I love it!
I really like how you fracture the language. Your thoughts feel timeless as though written when this form may have been developed. I'm not familiar with it so I'll have to search it. For all I know it's a modern form. In any case, an excellent poem.
Why did the word 'pendulum' come to mind after reading only four lines!?! Then look - the actual word is there in invisible golden letters, Susan. Is true, from first line to last there is a distinct cadence which would be hard to improve. Your skill is using true form yet always in a sensitive manner, your insight same. Plus, Susan, you add life's unsung lessons, one: "Choose to love only those we hope we can trust and are free to reciprocate!
Happy Everything for 2024, dear friend
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 Year Ago
Hi Emma, Thank you for this lovely review!! I do appreciate it :-)
Brilliant is the only word to decribe your poem dearest Susan.
From the fantastic image to the very last line...brilliant.
Your are so amazing, as I struggle with my newest endeavour French Quatran...not easy for me...
Just finished my first Ballad AWAKEN and posted it..hope you might like yo read it and give an honest review... that would be great.
I so enjoy reading your words...
Lisa, getting late in Spain
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 Year Ago
Thank you kindly Lisa. 😊yes, I will try and get over to your page to read.
I loved the poetry dear Susan.
"Such worthiness in life, rejoice!
(Dare not, subdue a truthful voice).
Such worthiness,
such worthiness …
a vibrant paradox of choice."
I did like the logic of the above lines. I believe we decide our emotions. Good or bad? Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 Year Ago
Aww thanks for the kind review! 😊 indeed, life is full of choices… either in action or response.. read moreAww thanks for the kind review! 😊 indeed, life is full of choices… either in action or response.
To be frank I am not a fan of most form and rhyme scheme which often leads to antiquated diction and skewed syntax,
You have handled this form admirably and I salute you skill.
Winston
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 Year Ago
I’m all about the challenge of formatted poetry. Rarely will I write a free verse. Thank you for .. read moreI’m all about the challenge of formatted poetry. Rarely will I write a free verse. Thank you for your kind review!! I do appreciate you reading 😊
1 Year Ago
You must be a Frost acolyte. I am a great admirer of his work but not of his inflexibility. :-)
Well, maybe? I could probably benefit from reading more.
1 Year Ago
I find reading poetry to be the greatest source of inspiration.
1 Year Ago
I find life to me mine 😊 but of course, reading others beautiful poetry is inspirational too. WC .. read moreI find life to me mine 😊 but of course, reading others beautiful poetry is inspirational too. WC has many wonderful poets.
I do so admire the patience to work with complex rhyme schemes.
Love overcomes each twisting turn
That is so true Susan. I enjoyed all three of your stanzas, moving from early years and innocence through to adulthood and the roller coaster that life can be. Your lines are lyrical and the refrain works so well. An accomplished piece of writing. A beautiful pen. Much enjoyed.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 Year Ago
Thank you Chris, I do enjoy the challenge. Thank you for reading and for the lovely review 😊