My silent heartbeat, strengthened in your arms As breathing quickens, welcome boyish charms Melt into me and set my soul ablaze Ensure the longings ~ for your special ways
With pleasing sentiments caressing me Awake sensations, begging to be free Release forever empty yesterdays Ensure the longings ~ for your special ways
Between the rise and breathless free-fall, when... My urging's heat persuades you; once again Collapse together under starlit haze Ensure the longings ~ for your special ways
My silent heartbeat, strengthened in your arms Ensure the longings ~ for your special ways.
Simply gorgeous, Susan ... whew!
Wondrously alluring to the senses ~ through the brilliance of this heart-thumping Kyrielle Sonnet, you've penned the perfect iambic beat to match the heart's yearning song, ache's sensual dreams, and life's primal urge for close affection.
Whomever the gloriously blessed guy is you penned this poem of enthrallment to (if he's read this) must surely have every fiber of his being kneeling in blissful gratitude, planning a romantic interlude for you both to share.
I love it ... color, font, nice presentation, illustration, creativity, emotive force, power, and tenderness, etc; all combine to embrace and sweep the spirit vividly into your moment, as excellent poetry should. I am more amazed and impressed by your growing skills with each of your compositions I'm privileged to read.
Thank you, Susan, for such an incomparably joyous treat! ~ Richard
(now, techy stuff: to preserve mind-eye continuity and keep the feel of warm flow intact, use single spaces between verses, title and illustration; for a finished, proficient composition, work on proper grammar by eliminating all unnecessary, improper capitalizations; and, incomplete punctuation lends an unfinished/unpolished appearance and feel; eliminate as many "the" and "and" filler words as possible, using [instead] words that express poetic nuance and flavor; contact me if you'd like more information on technical issues and/or on my comments, as I am always happy to lend a helping hand … smile*)
Grade: 90/100
Posted 8 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
:-) reviews cant be better then the poem! :-P...I will need to read over all your suggestions..and c.. read more:-) reviews cant be better then the poem! :-P...I will need to read over all your suggestions..and correct it. hugs
7 Years Ago
Well, techy stuff was just a part of my review, but 👍
this poem has a great flow and rhythm to it. love the ongoing theme, I like that you kept the last line of each stanza the same, it really worked for this poem.