What is more deadly...

What is more deadly than a storm?

Lightning striking, thunder rolls

The rain pelt down and the wind howls

Trees fall to the ground

The lights go out and we’re in the dark

People everywhere, hurt

 

What is more deadly than a flood?

Gasping for air

As the water rises

Above your head

You begin to swim

But the water continues to climb

Until it meets the ceiling

And there is no more air to breathe

 

What is more deadly than a fire?

The flame incinerate

Burning away

Until all that remains

Is the ashes

That will be scattered by the wind

And the memories

That are never forgotten

 

What is more deadly than an earthquake?

No way to save yourself

As the earth shakes

The ceiling caving in

Trapping all that could not escape

A canyon opens in the ground

And all around is the sound

Of screaming and crying

 

What is more deadly than mankind?

Reviews

[~Sara~]

Hello, Brooklyn. Just a few suggestions if you don't mind... I would suggest to put some of the lines together so it doesn't sound that choppy. Also, I would change the last line to, "What is more deadly than mother nature?" Mankind is a noun describing human beings considered collectively; the human race. Otherwise, great job! Loved the way you described the different deadly things. Thanks for sharing!
-Sara

[luna11]

Interesting.you describe four ways that nature is deadly, and then have one simple last line 'what is more deadly than makind?' I love it :)
I like the style. well written :) x

[Wild Willow Blue]

I love the message in this, but what you are describing is Mother Nature, not mankind. Maybe change that last word? Other than that, beautiful job.

[Odayin]

This one is interesting. There's no representation, that's for sure (as there shouldnt be)
Nah I definitely know where you got the inspiration for this one, and I like it. I like how you vividly describe 4 different types of mother nature, but then describe them destroying things that mankind has built (house lights, ceiling, ect.) and then ask the question what is more deadly than mankind. Normally it seems like the answer would just be a straight forward "mother nature" but you have brought up points that makes mother nature quite hard on us, not to mention the fact that if most of us were to die, we would rather it be a natural death over a fellow human's slaughter