Chapter 1

Have you ever known

That it in a minute

It could all be over?

That you could be over?

 

I knew that there was something wrong. I could tell as soon as I came home that day. There was something in the air, a deep sadness. The sky was cloudy, the air was cool, but that wasn’t significant. It was just the New England weather, I decided. I hoped.

            But it wasn’t. I could see that as soon as I walked through the door.  My stepmother was inside talking to a man. He was handsome. A strong jaw, chiseled features, brown curly hair. The way he smiled sent shivers down my back. There was something wrong about him.

            There was also the way Thea, my stepmom, acted around him. The way she looked at him. It was wrong. It was a look I haven’t seen on her face since my dad was alive.

            They both turned toward me when they heard the door snap shut. “Ailee!” My aunt said surprised and awkward. “This is…umm…this is Seth Donovan. Seth is umm…” She paused. Her next words came out in a rush, as though hearing them quickly would minimize the pain. “Ailee, Mr. Donovan and I are dating. I’m sorry Ailee!” She bit her lower lip.

            I stood there, not saying a word. They were dating. Only four months after my father’s death. “How long have you two been together?” I whispered eventually. I wondered how I could have missed something like this.

            Thea opened her mouth to answer, but Seth Donovan cut in. “You don’t have to explain anything to her, Thea. She’s not even your real daughter.” His words hurt like a slap. She might not have been my biological mother, but she was the only mother I’ve had for ten years.

Thea winced. “Seth,” she said, “I do have to explain it to her. I’m the only family she has left.” Her words, though gentler, hurt too. It reminded me that my father was gone.

“No! No, Thea. You are not her family. You are not connected. It isn’t your fault she is what she is. It couldn’t be!” my stepmom looked surprised at his outburst. She hasn’t apparently seen this side of the man that she looked at in such a loving way.

“Seth…What do you mean?”

He took a deep breath to steady him self, but he still seemed angry and dangerous. “Hah!” he said as though it were a joke. But there was no humor in his voice. “I got you, Thea. I told you that I was a good actor.”

Thea visibly relaxed, but I could tell that she didn’t remember discussing his acting skills. Still, she took the excuse that was presented to her. “Seth, I think that maybe this isn’t the best time to show off your acting talent. This is a serious matter.”

“Right. Sorry.”

She turned back toward me"where there tears in her eyes?"and said, “We’re getting married, Ailee.” Married. Married. Married. Four months after my father’s death. Thea had loved my father. How could she! How could she marry someone else when most wives would still be grieving?

I plopped on the couch, my legs unable to hold me any longer after this news. But there was more coming. I could tell by her face. “You see, Ailee. Seth has daughters. And we can’t afford to get a new apartment so…so. You will have to move out.”

So this was what abandonment felt like.  Thea was crying, begging me to forgive her. But I couldn’t. I thought I had felt abandonment when my dad had died. But he didn’t have a choice, Thea did.

She was saying how she wished that there were a way around it. She said that she was sending me to my uncle’s house. She said that she should have done this as soon as my dad died, as she was not my legal guardian.

She came over to hug me. She held me in her arms, crying. I realized something then. There was something wrong with his eyes. There was something dangerous, feral, about them. There was something strange about he way he smiled at me--triumphantly? Even the way he stood was off somehow. He had this quality about him that I recognized somehow. And I didn’t like it at all.

 

 

 

In my hand is a plane ticket. A plane ticket that is bringing me to an uncle who I have never met who I’ll live with until collage.

People steer around me as I stand there staring at the electronic board where my flight was listed. Me and my two enormous, purple, wheelie suitcases and my backpack full of stuff I will need for the trip, such as my sketch pad and a small pillow. I had fit as much as I could into the suitcases, the rest was being sent in the mail to my new address. All around me there are people saying good-bye to those they loved. I feel a pang of envy as a family near me started crying as they called my plane.

A teary-eyed girl around my age sits on one side of me as I take my seat on the plane and quickly falls asleep crying. A middle-aged business lady sat on the other. Everything about the lady looked crisp and cool. But, as she looked at me, she smiled and looked a lot friendlier.

“Thank goodness,” She whispers to me. “You’re not a crier. I just spent a ten-hour flight next to a lady who didn’t stop sobbing once.”

“You’d think,” I whisper back, “that they’d never see their families again the way they carry on.”

“Some of them won’t.” She says, seeming a little sympathetic now. “But it’s part of life. And I don’t have to worry about that, so…” She shrugs. “What about you? You look awfully young for moving out. So you’re either really mature for your age or a runaway.”

“Mature, I guess.” I don’t really talk to people about my emotions or my personal problems, but somehow the words spilled out. “My dad died a few months ago. I’ve been living with my stepmom since, but she’s getting remarried. So, I’m going to live with an uncle that I’ve never met.”

She whistles a long low note. “Wow. I’m sorry about your dad. How long ago did he…pass on?”

“Four months ago.”

“Yikes. And your stepmom is remarrying?” I nod. “And you’ve never met your uncle?”

I nod again. “I heard a few stories about him from my dad. Apparently he gave my dad some trouble about dating my mom. He was very protective of his little sister.”

I wince as she asks the inevitable question, “Where’s your mom, Hun?”

“No one knows.”