Need You to Need Me

the next chapter is finally up! Sorry for the long wait.

I stare at the blank sheet of paper. Think, I tell myself. You can do this. I’ve never written a song before. It’s harder than I thought.

Putting my mixed up, jumble-y, mess of feelings into words? Not so easy.

I’m frozen in place

I run out of breath

It’s like I’ve run a race.

            I scribble out the last line and crumple the paper in frustration. I throw it in the trash can across the room. Then I tap my pen on the next page of the notebook. Ari was right. It’s much harder to write your own words.

“Whoa! Harry at least cover up with a blanket!” Zayn opens the hotel room door. He walks over to the couch and tosses me a blanket. “We have company.”

I turn in the swivel chair and face him. Next to him is Drew looking as if she is about to pass out. Zayn’s arm is around her. Huh? “Meet my new girlfriend.”

          I stare blankly at him. In my mind, I impersonate Louis during an interview yelling, “Zayn say whaaaaat?!” But no words actually come out. Louis chooses then to walk in to the room

“Hey, ma"“ he stops midsentence as he sees Drew. He stands there, frozen for a few moments. Then he screams bloody murder and runs out of the hotel room. I still hear him screaming until he gets to the elevator.

“That went well.” Zayn says, grimacing.

“And he hasn’t heard the girlfriend part,” I say in between huge gulping breaths that I have to take on account of me laughing hysterically.

 Drew looks hurt-- by Louis’s screaming or my laughing, I can’t tell. “It’s okay,” Zayn comforts her. “They’re just shocked.” She nods mutely. Suddenly I get the feeling that she isn’t hurt but…in awe. This suspicion is confirmed when Zayn leans down to kiss her. She faints right there, on me and Louis’s hotel room floor.

“Liam!” I call, panicking. After all, he is the Daddy Directioner.

He rushes in, takes one look at Zayn kneeling next to Drew on the floor, and says, “Again?”

Zayn grabs a bottle of water from the mini-fridge and dumps half the contents on her face. She wakes up, sputtering and coughing from the cold shock. “Are you okay?” Liam asks slowly. She nods again. He and Zayn help her onto her feet.

Louis walks in again and sees that she’s still there. “So I wasn’t dreaming. Or going crazy.” He mumbles, rubbing his eyes to be sure.

“Nope.” I announce. “She’s Zayn’s new girlfriend.” He laughs, thinking that I’m joking. Once he sees that I’m not, he laughs so hard that he has to run out again, afraid to offend her. I don’t worry about that. Instead I put my head on the table and laugh freely.

When I calm down, I stare at the paper as if staring at it will make word magically appear on it. It doesn’t. How about now. Nope. Now? Still no.

 

I throw pebble after pebble, waiting for her to answer the…window. “Can’t you just let me sleep?” She mumbles tiredly as she opens the window. There is something different about her. Her shoulders sag slightly and I can see that her eyes are puffy. She’s been crying.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Nothing,” she says sharply. I don’t press it.

“I’m back.” I say with a smile.

“I can see that.” Okay. Not in a good mood tonight.

The beast thing I do is start singing.

 

Maybe this is just a dream

In that case let me stay asleep

Maybe you will never love me

Then let me keep pretending

 

I don’t want to know the truth

Cause I’m not anything unless I’m with you

I don’t want to know the truth

Cause I don’t know what else to do

 

Can’t you hear my heart beating?

It’s only you that I’m needing

Can’t you see in my eyes all my secrets?

Or do you just not want to see it?

How can you not tell that I’m in love

And that my life without you is not enough?

Can’t you see?

I need you to need me

 

Maybe you will never look at me

They way you look at him

Maybe we won’t have a happy ending

Then let me keep pretending

 

I don’t want to know the truth

Cause my daydreams are better than reality

I don’t want to know the truth

Cause I don’t think I’ll live through the agony

 

 

Can’t you hear my heart beating?

It’s only you that I’m needing

Can’t you see in my eyes all my secrets?

Or do you just not want to see it?

How can you not tell that I’m in love

And that my life without you is not enough?

Can’t you see?

I need you to need me

Don’t say that it’s just a dream

Don’t say that you will never love me

In my mind I change the way you look at me

In my mind I’ll change the ending

 

Can’t you hear my heart beating?

It’s only you that I’m needing

Can’t you see in my eyes all my secrets?

Or do you just not want to see it?

How can you not tell that I’m in love

And that my life without you is not enough?

Can’t you see?

I need you to need me

 

I need you to need me

 

There is a long pause after I am finished. I wipe my sweaty palms on my trousers and wait for her response. I breathe in and out deeply, trying to calm my racing heart.

She opens her mouth, but no words come out. She closes it. There is another moment of silence, me not daring to speak. Then she closes the window.

My heart seems to collapse in on itself. It didn’t work. I turn and start to walk down her driveway. I can’t stand to be here a second longer.  I am almost to the road when I here rushed foot steps behind me then feel a hand on my arm.

I turn around and there she is. She quickly goes on her tiptoes and captures my mouth with hers. I am so stunned for a second that I stand there, frozen. Then my mouth moves on hers and I pull her close to me. We stay like that for I don’t even know how long. A minute? An hour? The we pull apart, just a little. My forehead rest on hers and we’re both breathing heavily. I guess we both forgot to breathe during the kiss.

I wait for her to push away or slap me or both, but instead she wraps her arms around my neck and says, “It would be a little hard to do that from the second floor.” I smile down at her and she smiles back at me. Then I kiss her agin.

Reviews

[Pencrafter]

You have the storyteller's gift and a talent for writing. I also appreciate the care you take in watching for basic spelling or punctuation errors; that's something I wish more of the new writers would follow.

[luv2dream]

I love the song! What profession are you looking at again? I'm joking, it's really good chapter. I can't wait for more, Brooklyn

[Odayin]

Your song came out nice. "reality" and "agony went nice together.
Nice storyline, probably felt like a lucid dream

[Krista Weiss]

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Finally!!!! Best. Chapter. Ever!! So excited right now :)))) haha < 3333

[Legolas]

Yay. great chapter. If that truly is your song then great job.

[Brooklyn]

This one is actually my song :) it's the main reason why this chapter took so long to write

[Legolas]

Wow. Great job.

[Amanda]

Yay everyone's content now. Drew should be someone else's girlfriend (cause I don't like Zayn :P). I hope that Ari doesn't regret anything, that would break Harry's little heart.

[Sophie]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MY LIFE IS INCREDIBLY FILLED WITH HAPPINESS!