Prologue

“Bring in the prisoner.” They dragged him from the cell. Dressed in purple and gold, his head was high and he walked confidently. “And make sure you hold him tight.” The guard added at the sight of the fearless man.

            Laughter rumbled through the prisoner’s body and escaped through his mouth. “Are you afraid, Captain? Afraid of an old man such as myself?”

            “I would be a fool if I thought you were just an old man.” The captain said quietly but dangerously. “You may go,” he dismissed the two soldiers. They nodded in a solute and left.

Once the two men were gone the old man in chains continued. “Yes, I suppose you would be even more of a fool considering what I did to you’re son.” The captain snapped and the tip of his sword met the man’s throat, drawing a drop of blood. “Kill me,” the prisoner said, staring down the sword into the captain’s eyes. “But you won’t gain anything. It won’t bring you’re son back. If you want to truly avenge his death then you will help me.”

“What kind of trick is this?” The guard demanded, his voice shaking slightly.

“Yes, I killed your son. But I didn’t have a choice. Aid me and we will call vengeance on the man who is responsible for his death and for so many others’. The man who is responsible for all of this destruction! Mordred

The Captain looked at him steadily and for a moment the captive allowed himself to believe that there was hope. That this wasn’t the end. Then the guard plunged his sword into the stomach of the man.

He gasped for breath, his eyes slowly loosing their eerie glow. Blood gurgled out of his mouth as he collapsed onto the stone floor. As his murderer turned away, he spoke his last words, “Killing me won’t stop the prophecy. I am the messenger; I do not have a part in the unfolding. Tell your master his days are numbered.” Then he closed his eyes. The fight for his life was over. I was time to surrender to Death’s embrace and hope that it would have pity on his damaged soul.  

Reviews

[SilverBullet]

Well, this was a good, interesting prologue! I enjoyed it very much but you did have quite a few grammatical mistakes.
I think that you should make 'his head was high' to 'his head was 'held' high' because it adds a bit more flow to it. It just sounds better.
Also, 'Once the two men were gone, the old man continued.' You should add a comma after gone so it's not a run on.
Also, a greater word choice would help the prologue a bit.
But overall, it's a great story.

[MandaBear]

Oh so wonderful :) I cant wait to see how this unfolds.!! I just have one thing to point out The "I" in the last sentence is that supposed to be "It"?? I was just wondering if its not then dont worry I just was curious. But I must say the last line is my favorite. Cant wait to read more!! Thank you for sharing :)

[Odayin]

Nice last sentence.
For some reason, the captive really reminded me of Chris...eh oh well, he's dead now. Nice beginning to a story with a lot of open alleyways which is what you want. Good descriptions and details, great work

[Pencrafter]

It sounds like a good story so far. In the beginning of a story it's important to quickly grab the reader's attention with good scene descriptions, along with a bit of mystery and action. You could probably elaborate on the physical descriptions of the cell and surroundings. Good job so far.

[Bryn]

Really diggin' this! Type of story I plan to write! A few tips?
Walking or dragging? "They dragged him from the cell" and "he walked confidently"
And if you are talking about two different people you need to specify.
I love what you have so far. It draws the reader in a captures their attention. Prologues need to have questions that the reader should be thinking.
-Who's his master?
-What prophecy?
-Messenger for who?
-Who is Mordred?
I do think it'd be better if you didn't name who is responsible. It'd make the readers REALLy think the man was crazy and be on the cpatains side. You know?
Hope I was heldful!

[Lydia]

Great prologue. Really pulls a reader in, and makes them want to know more of the story. I can't wait to read more, and see where this goes.

[Legolas]

Good prologue. I want to read more.

[∠( ᐛ 」..]

Nice prologue!

[Amanda]

Hmmm, I can't tell if I'll like it or not yet. If there's romance, I'm in :P

[Brooklyn]

Don't worry, there will be romance. I don't think I can write a book without romance...

[Amanda]

haha good

[luv2dream]

it's good, I'm not sure if it's right for me though. I'll read the next few chapters but I'm not sure if I'll get to hooked.