Escaping Reality(draft 2)

I close my eyes.
I wait for the last few minutes of conseciousness to fade away.
My head is filled with thoughts about my day.
The pillow is soft against my face.
My blanket shocks me every time I move my leg.
I start to feel my bed pull me closer and I fall asleep.
But my mind is still awkake.
Here I have no worries,
I can do whatever I feel.
Because this is my dream,
and this is how I escape reality.
I open my eyes and I am surrounded by water.
The aroma of salt and fish tickle my nose.
My feet never touch ground as if I am in a tall glass of water.
I see no land so I seem deep down.
The farther I go,
the colder the water gets.
Underneath,
it is like a whole other world.
Fish swimming in every direction.
I never lose my breath.
I feel like a mermaid.
I hear whales off in the distance.
Here,
I feel safe and can think my thoughts out loud.
I have no worries and can do whatever I feel.
I can wake up whenever I am ready.
I feel more relaxed now.
No one can invade my second world.
Because this is my dream,
and this is how I escape reality.

Author's Note

I'm writing this poem for English and this is my second draft. If you want me to post the first draft, I will. Please give me some helpful tips to make this poem better. I'll keep posting this poem until the final draft. Thank you for taking the time to read it.

Reviews

[Pretty_as_a_Poet]

Powerful imagery... I love the water also, it is my safe haven.

[Shannen Forrester]

I cant put my finger on it, but there is something I like here, wonderful imagery good writing, but for me personally it doesn't flow very well, other than that, it's really good.

[~Brooke Moran~]

Thank you! And I couldn't agree more, it doesn't flow very well. Still thinking of ways to fix that.

[Shannen Forrester]

Any other problem I could give you advice, flow is something I lack as well.

[~Brooke Moran~]

Would you mind reviewing my other poem? It would mean a lot to me.