falling down to wonderland

I'm falling through this hole,

It seems as though time has stopped,

I pick myself up from my fall,

to see a pear of twins pop,

Who are you? the young girl asked,

The little boys hopping up and down,

Not bothering to answer they left with a whisper,

"In Wonderland" they said in a low voice sound,

Walking past a purple and pink cat,

and past a crazy red haired funny man,

To being in the ocean in a bottle,

And on the beach with animals dancing in the sand,

What is this silly place?

I don't even know where to begin being in a place I don't understand,

With weird people and a crazy card queen,

I wish I wouldn't have been dreaming of falling down to wonderland.

Author's Note

just something I wrote while thinking of being in a wonderland :D please comment :)

Reviews

[Ashira Macy]

Loved this Yuki! Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite stories and so many people have so many different takes on it. There are two things I noticed:

"to see a pear of twins pop"

Pear should be pair, otherwise it is the fruit.

"Who are you? the young girl asked,"

I would stick with either first person or third person. I liked it as you talking as though you are Alice, so maybe change this line to "Who are you? I asked, confused." Or something of the like. Really fun read, keep up the good work!

[yuki]

hahathe sill mistakes we make huh :D thank you when I read the mistakes you said I was like ''woops haha'' and thank you so much! :)

[Ashira Macy]

No problem dear, we are all on here to improve. =)

[Matching Socks]

This is so charming Yuki!

[yuki]

thank you ana! :D

[Jackson H. Harley]

Alice in Wonderland is simply fantastic, so instantly fell in love with this poem, great work :D

[yuki]

Thank you so much :)

[anne]

very nice sweetie....I like the child like imagination penned with heart so pure... :))

[yuki]

thank you anne !

[Malister Mikey]

I enjoyed it, love Alice in wonderland so to see a poem about it is fun

[yuki]

thank you and I always try to make things fun to read :)

[Wandering Minstrel]

Very original! The imagery is over the top.

[yuki]

thank you :)

[Alfred Kukitz]

The poem has a charm all its own. Bravo yuki!

[yuki]

thank you so much :)