she is soft

She turns to me after the deed is done and asks me a simple question.

"And will you be happy?"

My answer becomes stuck in my throat.

I want to let her know that it's impossible

for me to be happy.

That she was the only one to have ever brought me close,

but

like always

I seek to destroy.

I laugh venomously, then take a breath 

to prepare myself for the destruction

my words will cause.

You don't deserve this

not that that ever stopped me before.

There's hope in your eyes that I still need you,

that this is a mistake I will soon rectify.

You always believed in lost causes.

"I'll be happier than ever once you're gone."

A smile lands on my lips, 

one that I try to infuse with rage.

It works well, for she doesn't detect the anguish behind it.

How I hate myself so

for doing this to her.

It's easier, though, to hurt this way,

than ruin her life after years of holding on too tightly.

She doesn't deserve the hurt,

but more importantly,

I don't deserve the happiness she brings me.

Author's Note

tragic enough? probably not

Reviews

[Beautiful Intentions]

Give me a moment... Phew... I had actually fallen into my own hands to cry over this, Osh. Oh, dear one, it is tragic enough... For a moment I had wondered, while reading this, if this is the way my own lover feels about me. This is just... Is there even a single word to explain? This is so worthy of breaking ones heart. And I am sure you deserve the happiness she brings... We all deserve happiness regardless of what our faults may be... The title is so perfect for this piece and I believe makes it all the more emotional right along with the words. This just gripped my heart and squeezed the tears from my eyes. In so many ways this is romantic, is beautiful and so selfless. To let someone who loves you go simply because one feels as if they don't deserve them. Sob... Tragically gorgeous this is.