Parallax

Now, we are like strangers.

You were a parallax swimming in a stagnant pool
I changed the angle and realised I had nothing left to lose
The mirrors were misty and the future was distant
as I moved in slow motion through oil and carapace
watching the inevitable decay of empty years.
You were always words on a screen,
pretty please, social camaraderie
with nothing but sterilised silence in between.

My face wanted fire, my fire needed feet
to stop waiting for a win, to open my eyes and see
that I was a staccato between time and trials
and in those murky depths, I couldn't possibly survive.
I choked every time I saw the chains
you'd built around yourself to make me stay
But, there are chinks in every chapter with you
and I can't keep stumbling around your stupidity
to stop the holes in your hypothesis from tearing me in two.

I don't think I've ever felt more courageous
as I peeled away your flesh,
unraveled every woeful thread of wool
and watched the resentment slide down your shiny shoes
until you were nothing but a pitiful preacher in a church of fools.
I'm not building windmills and hoping for a little change
I'm not praying for a pardon or a placebo pill
I'm not waiting in the wings until you waltz on stage
I'm not staying just to keep standing still
 
Because the heat from this haemolysis
is blinking in my every blood cell like a beacon
and I've realised that every inch of everything I ever tried to be
was never even close to what I actually need.

(K L B)