Without you

Wondering what the world would be like without you
Dark, painful, lost
The stars would never shine as bright
The sun would be cold
My heart won't ever flutter for anybody else
There wouldn't be a day that passed by without me thinking of you
I couldn't be able to bear the pain of losing you
I would be empty, hopeless, and lost
I would feel as if I got hit by a car each and every day
It would be like I didn't exist
My thoughts, my mind, my heart, and my soul would only be with you

 

 

Reviews

[Dark Wanderer]

A very heartfelt piece; there is definetly good expression here. I would suggest though trying to smooth out the rhythm a little more so that it flows better.

Keep writing!

[Karen666]

Oh i love this poem. It's a treat to read.

[A.Low]

The stars would never shine as bright
The sun would be cold
My heart won't ever flutter for anybody else
There wouldn't be a day that passed by without me thinking of you



wow my favorite lines!Ya i feel ike this i don't see him i would go to jail for him and of course you!!!



So very good good good i love you much

[Daniel]

I've known this feeling.
It's terrible.
You explained it really well. :)

Write on! =D

[LlamaLord]

Looking from the perspective of a writer, we all seem to feel so connected. Writers see things clearly, I feel, because we express how we feel writing. Maybe it's the same thing happening here. When you write, you somehow feel as though you love more. I could just be ranting again, but it seems as though that's where you were headed towards the end of the poem. Anyway, very nice read. Always great to read about such a strong relation :)

-Austin

[revenant21]

A very sweet poem. I liked it.

[-alexis-]

very beautiful poem
i really liked how you explained
life without that person you love
:'] wonderful poem!!!!

[Kiara]

sadness written beautifully :)
loved this you are so talented!
and never fail to write a good piece
-arabella

[ATG]

This was a sad, but very sweet poem. I liked it.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Well done... straight from the heart the way I like it... no fancy words just tell it like it is with pure emotions.
I love it.