The Lust of Poseidon.

A tale is woven from the loss of one young maiden and the sacrifice she made to reunite with her lover.

A canvas of nighttime, spattered with thousands of stars and lit by a white crescent moon, stretched eternally above the ocean. The waves beneath were gently rolling to and fro, coaxed toward the shore by some unseen force only to rear up and crash in a frothy white tumble. Seagulls flew, moonlit, on silent wings, and the wind softly vexed at the sands as it whispered its airy romances.

            Upon the shore walked two maidens, their fingers entwined with each other’s and their dresses fluttering weakly around their bodies. One looked at the sands and one to the sea, both as silent and peaceful as the skies themselves. Their bare feet softly pressed a trail of footprints into the moist beach, their wavy locks of hair shuddered helplessly with each step, and their breath slipped out of their lips in invisible puffs of cloud.

            “Asis,” one eventually whispered, her voice almost swallowed by the sound of the ocean, “you have been gazing at the sea for a while now. If you are not careful, Poseidon himself will come to steal you away from me.”

            The woman who had been gazing so wistfully at the water looked to the speaker, her bright blue eyes soft as they melted into the comforting gray-green of her lover.

            “Varali, my love, do not fear such untrowable events,” she responded with a ghost of a smile. “I shant be taken from here by any soul, be they God or mortal.”

            Varali paused and her companion followed suit. “Untrowable?” She questioned lightly, “But on the contrary, my sweet. Any would agree that your beauty is vast enough to sway the very Gods.”

            Asis chuckled softly, reaching for the other woman’s face and gently resting her fingers upon her cheek. “The Gods are of no desire to me,” she assured light-heartedly. “You are the only one I would entrust with my heart.”

            Closing her eyes for a moment, Asis leaned forward and placed a tender kiss upon the other girl’s rosy lips. Varali did the same, pulling away after moments and gazing at her lover fondly.

            “I am lucky then,” Varali noted, “to have such a regal treasure that I can call my own.” Brushing a lock of the other maiden’s coppery red hair behind her ear, Varali kissed her again.

            The maidens then drew apart and embraced each other, standing still on the beach as the water moaned and the suns that shone from galaxies away glittered sadly. Their hearts beat against each others’ chests, red hair twisted with brunette, and their breathing became the sole focus of each others’ ears. Slowly, Varali pulled the redhead closer and tightened their hold.

            “I love you, my sweet water Goddess,” murmured Varali. Asis’s melodic laugh rang smoothly into the air for a brief moment.

            “And I you, my luminous enchantress,” she replied softly.

            The brunette’s lips curved into a smile and she began to release her lover from the hug, carefully trailing her fingers down Asis’s side and taking a hold of her hand. Asis, of course, obliged, accepting the other maiden’s offer and entwining their digits together.

            “Will you have me tonight?” Varali cooed, lowering herself onto the sand and pulling the other girl on top of her.

            “Only if you will have me as well,” Asis purred, knees burying into the beach and her other hand joining with Varali’s. For a moment the two were still, gazing at each other affectionately with the brunette lying on the ground and the redhead on top of her. Varali’s dark brown locks were splayed out around her head, the gentle waves of hair highlighting and framing her face in a way that was nothing less than perfect to Asis. If I am a Goddess, she thought fondly, then she is whatever deity reigns over even they.

            Admiring her lover, Asis bent down and pressed a soft kiss into the flesh of her neck. Varali smiled and closed her eyes, focusing on the feeling of the other dame’s soft lips caressing her skin. Asis moved from the side of Varali’s neck to her throat, then down to her collar bone and then back up to her jaw. The brunette was quiet, content, thankful.

            Time progressed and the two young women remained entwined on the sandy floor, running their fingers along each others’ skin and shedding their dresses. Their bodies pressed together and their souls meshed with each other that night, the girls sharing fleeting signs of affection with each other that they would share with no one else. As they had done so many times before, Varali and Asis took their love to the highest point that they could.

            When the hour had cooled and the tide had fallen, the silence which seemed perpetual was broken.

            “Where do you suppose we will go when we pass on, my love?” Whispered Asis.

 Varali, who was holding her lover and pressing against her for warmth, responded, “That is a question not even the wisest of beings can answer.” She paused and pulled Asis closer to her. “Do not peril, however, for it is of little importance. I would follow you as readily to Tartarus as I would to anywhere else.”

“Tartarus…” mused the redhead, “the realm for the dead whom have sinned. It saddens me wholly…to think that our love could be such a crime.”

Varali only kissed her shoulder comfortingly, “Peril not, my sweet. We are still alive.”

 

Varali opened her eyes and stared out at the ocean, its waves violently lapping against the shore and spraying foam in every which direction. The roar of the waters was inexorable, its voice malicious as it reached for the maiden who taunted it.

Asis was not here. Asis had not graced the sands of this place in over a moon; weeks ago she had been stolen away.

“Poseidon!” Varali yelled out to the waters. “I ask you now as I have asked you each day since your crime; return to me what is mine!”

As always, the sea’s only response was to spit out foreign murmurs. Varali stepped closer and softened her tone.

“Asis, my sweet Asis. If you can hear me, I have come to reclaim you…and I shall not turn back until I have done so.” The brunette’s words were naught but whispers as she neared the end of her sentence, knowing fully well that volume would do nothing to relay her message. Could Asis even hear her? Could Poseidon even hear her?

Faith in the creators had dimmed in the maiden’s heart, and she wasn’t sure what to believe anymore. Nevertheless, her heart led her to this beach and her mind told her that it was Posidon whom had kidnapped her dearest. Many an eve had he whispered to her…

Stepping into the ocean, Varali felt the waters swirl around her feet and will her into their depths. A trap, she considered for a moment, a trick of Poseidon to steal me as well. That is all this is.

Despite her doubts, Varali’s gray-green eyes locked onto the waters and a passionate devotion darkened her features. The wind toyed dismally with her wavy hair, forcing her white dress to flap desperately at her heels as the sea cooed to her promises of Asis’s return.

Even if this led her straight into the pits of the Underworld, Varali would still attempt it. If death was what it took to find her lover, then death was welcome.

“My love,” she whispered quietly as she walked slowly into the ocean, “I am coming to you...I am coming now. Perhaps I lost you once to these waters, but tonight I shall find you. You shall be mine again, sweet Asis, and I will never let you go.”

Waist-deep in the salty liquid, Varali lifted her feet and began to swim. Her mind was clouded with images and memories, and her only desire at this point was to find the one she sought out. She knew that her lover was somewhere out there, and she would search the ends of the earth to find her. They would meet again.

 Perhaps Hades would claim her, or perhaps the God she first encountered would be Poseidon; no matter the obstacles, Varali would search until her love was once more in her arms.

Warm, safe, and tender…Asis would soon be hers again.

 

 

SEVERAL YEARS LATER…

 

            Three young children, no more than about eight or nine years old, ran festively along the Oceanside. Their feet sent up little splashes from the soggy earth they frolicked across, and each and every one of their faces was lit up by a cheerful expression. For a moment they ran alongside each other, and then without warning one of the boys broke away and romped deeper into water that splashed around his knees. His mother had specifically told him to go no further than ankle-deep, and so in his rebellion he flashed his companions a devilish grin.

            “Look, Cirila, Lian!” He announced, and his friends stopped running and watched him, smiling. “I am Poseidon!”

            The boy in the water began to splash around wildly with his hands and legs, pulling what he thought was the face of an angry God and making various roaring noises.

            His friends burst into fits of giggles.

            “If you are not careful, Deion,” announced his friend Lian between laughs, “the God himself will come to snatch you away!”

            They laughed some more as Deion paraded around in his imitation of Poseidon, tears rimming their eyes when their friend eventually returned to them. Deion smiled proudly at himself and smoothed down his sodden trousers.

            “You know,” Lian began as he watched his friend, “a storyteller once taught me a rhyme about Poseidon. He stole away a beautiful young maiden once!” Glancing at Cirila and raising a brow, he managed to coax a giggle and a blush from the girl.

            “Oh, please tell it!” She pleaded, twisting from side to side in a display of anticipation.

            “Yeah!” agreed Deion, “We want to hear!”

Lian looked thoughtful for a minute as he tried to remember how it began, and then his visage brightened as he remembered.

“It’s a bit long,” he warned, “and the words are hard.”

But his friends didn’t seem to care. So, with a cheerful tone the boy began to recite the poem in a singing voice.

 

“The regal dame was Asis called,

A prize throughout the land,

Of beauty vast and manner fair

To all who sought her hand.

 

Content to stare the Oceanside,

And visit much did she,

So unaware of passions which

Did crave her from the sea.

 

The dawn one day Poseidon knew

His lusts could wait no longer.

He sent the waves to Asis claim

Into his murky water.

 

So gone was she into the depths

And sorrow now was wrought,

A lass on earth who held the heart

Of Asis held it naught.

 

Her lover gone to liquid fates,

Varali could not bear,

She waded to the angry sea,

Abandoning her fear.

 

A quest to find sweet Asis

Whom was all of her devotion,

Did lead Varali to her death

In torrents of the ocean.

 

On Hades’s door she found herself

And begged the God to tell

If Asis thus far was alive

Or lonely in his Hell.

 

The deity laughed and then he said,

In voice so great it shook,

That Asis made to Tartarus,

And there her dame should look.

 

So forced in chains for sin of love,

Varali did obey,

And found the soul she’d followed

And so dreamed of day to day.

 

A moment silent they did stand

With shock of reunition,

For neither could just quite believe

Varali’s winning mission.

 

Then passion took their hearts ahold,

Together they did rush.

“You came for me!” sweet Asis cried.

“I promised just as much.

 

But did Poseidon steal you not

From me upon the shore?”

“Aye love, he did,” the dame replied,

“I would not be his w***e.”

 

Varali smiled and kissed her love,

Though sorrow filled her eyes.

Because sweet Asis did resist,

The God had brought demise.

 

“You could have been a Goddess, love,

Beside him in the sea.”

But Asis only shook her head,

“Poseidon’s not for me.”

 

And so in depths of Tartarus,

Amidst all wretched kinds,

Dwelled maidens fair, the two who loved,

Until the end of times.”

Author's Note

Please review in as much depth as you are willing to. I want brutal honesty on this piece. I want to be able to improve it a LOT. Saying that you loved it and whatnot is not what I'm looking for (although it is of course welcome and appreciated ^^). I would really love anyone who could find something for me to improve on. ANYTHING to improve on, because I know there is a lot. Thank you!

This was inspired by the song Eurydice by Sleeptheif.

Reviews

[alesuriko]

Very beautifully written. Your description is flawless and it suits the style of the ancient Grecian times very well. Some of the dialogue is a little too modern, but it's barely noticeable. I really enjoyed the tale, the love between the two women is exquisite and saddening when one is torn away. Although, all I could think about when Poseidon "stole Asis" is that she could have sleep-walked into the water and drowned and Varali sentenced herself to death in the water. But that's only because I'm an atheist. However, for this piece, I really tried my best to ignore the side of me that always wants to prove the more logical side of things, and give into the mythology. Grecian mythology is truly my favorite, I'm glad you got all the deities and locations accurate.

It's also accurate as a Grecian legend because you ended with a rhyme that tells of the story, as many myths do. Although, some of your words in your rhyme don't necessarily rhyme. Such as "bear" and "fear" which don't actually rhyme even though their spelling is similar. And then "she" and "sea" are close but they just barely get away with it. Also, your tone in the rhyme compared with the tone of the story lacks a little in the ancient Grecian dialect.

Oh and I just realized that the "Several Years Later..." is a little too modern as well. It would sound more like a natural myth if you worked that into the description of the story.

Overall, I really enjoyed this piece. Beautifully written, wonderfully descriptive and it really pulls you into the myth. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

[A.D. Wilson]

I'm not sure I can find anything to improve upon. Amazing story! You have a beautiful, poetic style of writing. The poem at the end was fabulous! I only hope I can write as well as you someday.

[-Serene Heaven-]

I don't really know where to start on this because it sucked me in completely. I've been trying to find a good style to try and work off of, because I only seem to be good at writing when it's from a First-Person viewpoint. It's a tad depressing, actually.

Anyway, constructive criticism: At first I had been a tad confused as to who these characters were, because it wasn't really clearly stated other than when they were talking to each other. If you can, I'd love to read more about why one is a Goddess and the other an Enchantress. I realize these may be pet names, but this is just my opinion on the matter.

Did it matter whose kids these were? Probably not. Heh.

Also, I loved the way that you ended it with the poem. It was a perfect way to end a short story based on Greek mythology.

Serene

[Winter]

I can't really be constructive, sorry, but I would like to say that I really liked it a lot, it was amazing!

[Heavran]

okay first, i must pick myself up off the floor because that was absolutely beautiful. ^^
Having said that, the only thing i must convey is a sense of slight confusion about the boys. I assumed they were human, but perhaps describe a little more of them; if only, to make it clearer that it was a human legend that the boy sung. (which was to die for if i might say) The young humans were the only troubling part for me. I wish i could help even more, but you belittle your talent. :) In all, FANTASTIC!

P.S. favorite line - "If I am a Goddess, she thought fondly, then she is whatever deity reigns over even they." so humble and sweet, like someone else i know. haha