What I've Done.

Rowan, a young wizard, has just killed his first man and his emotions are in a frenzy over it. Takes place in the Harry Potter world but features only original characters.

My pale brown wand lowered, and my arm fell limply to my side.

 

Had I really done it?

 

I had.

 

A few ragged breaths whispered from my dry lips, and my eyes remained locked ahead, wide with foreign emotion. I could feel the gentle breeze toying with the ends of my cape, and I held back a sort of choking cry as I saw something in front of me flutter lifelessly as well. I couldn’t allow emotion to get to me. I was above emotion.

 

Stepping forward, I cautiously crouched beside the dark mass that lay in a heap on the floor. My bluegreen gaze traced the outline of the shape, and then I lifted my wand yet again to gently push the thing’s head in my direction. The mouth was agape, the eyes wide with the last traces of emotion that had crossed it and slowly beginning to glaze over. A small trickle of blood ran from its nose, and it’s hair was sticking to the forehead from the sweat that had only moments before been oozing from its pores. The mass was, quite obviously, a dead human being.

 

I felt the bile rise up in my throat, stinging with the familiar taste of stomach acid, and I quickly swallowed it back. He was dead. Just two words and I had killed him. It had been so easy.

 

Standing up, I glanced around, noticing his mahogany wand laying discarded on the floor. My fingers gingerly stretched out toward it, and after bending over and retrieving the object I exhaled a deep breath. He was powerless against me now. He had nothing to defend himself with. I had all the power.

 

Turning away from the dead body a bit nervously, I shut my eyes and walked, feet crushing the autumn leaves below me. It wasn’t my fault that he was dead. He had asked for it. He had been the one foolish enough not to avoid me when he knew perfectly well what I was. He had been so reckless to approach me like he had, pointing his wand in my face and demanding that I drop my own and follow him to Azkaban without a word. He’d told me that I was under arrest for conspiracy and that there was no use in trying to flee.

 

I hadn’t tried to flee.

 

Oh, no I hadn’t.

 

Pausing, I turned and looked back at the crumpled, lifeless body behind me, almost expecting to see it get up and stumble after me. Of course, it didn’t. It remained where it had fallen, and for a moment I wondered if I should do anything to dispose of it. Nobody would be able to trace it, right? That was what was so great about magic. There were no fingerprints, no blood, no nothing.

 

And yet, it still worried me.

 

Pointing my wand at it, I stared the corpse in the eyes and muttered, “Incendio.” A jet of crimson light shot toward the body, immediately causing it to burst into flame upon contact. Perhaps it was unnecessary, but as I watched the skin bubble up and blacken a sense of relief crashed over my body. I felt even more powerful now, and as I watched his hair shrivel and coil into nothingness I couldn’t help but feel my lips twitch into a smile. He couldn’t get me now. He wasn’t going to take me to jail.

 

I was free.

 

I watched for a moment longer as his clothes turned to ash and the flames continued to lick at his skin, inhaling the putrid stench of burning flesh. It was gross, but I forced myself not to care. It was his fault, after all, not mine. I had only been defending myself. What I had done was completely natural.

 

Shutting my eyes, I listened for a second at the crackling and spitting sounds of the fire’s meal. In a sick, twisted way, I felt proud of myself. It had been my first kill. They had all told me that I wouldn’t be able to do it, but I had to prove to them I could. I was one of their leaders, after all, and I couldn’t have them doubting me. They had no reason to do so now; no, not that I had done this.

 

Opening my eyes yet again, I looked at the burning corpse and felt a pang of a much more reasonable emotion – regret. What if he was married? What if he had kids? Had I…just taken away someone’s father?

 

I told myself that it didn’t matter. It couldn’t matter. I couldn’t let it.

 

Noticing that a few of the leaves surrounding the body had caught fire, I lifted my wand and made a sort of swishing motion. The leaves spun around the dead man as if a sudden wind had caught them, and after circling wider and wider resettled on the ground. Now a good two meters of naught but dirt surrounded the corpse on all sides. It would have been bad were I to forget that detail.

 

Turning, I pushed the emotion out of my head and bit my lip softly. They would be admiring of me, but what about the others? What about those who didn’t understand our ideals and yet I still called my friends? And Daniel. What would I tell him? There was no way he would understand.

 

I reached the conclusion soon enough. I wouldn’t tell him. It simply wasn’t possible for him to accept it, and this wasn’t something that could be forgiven as easily as my tendency to cheat.

 

Cheating. It seemed so insignificant now. I had trusted him with the information about all those little affairs I’d had, and although we broke up a couple times due to it we always returned to each other. We never stopped loving each other.

 

I wasn’t sure that our relationship would mend itself were I to tell him about this.

 

I wasn’t sure if he was capable of loving a killer, and I knew that’s what he’d label me as. He wouldn’t understand that it was for self-defense. He wouldn’t care that they were trying to take me to Azkaban.

 

Daniel was too good of a person. His heart was too pure.

 

Sighing softly, I allowed my gaze to flick to the mahogany wand that I was holding lightly in my other hand. This was as good as proof as to what I’d done – the wand would see me as its master now, and it wouldn’t do such easily unless it’s previous one had been killed. It was mine now. My prize.

 

I began moving a bit faster, wanting to get away from what I’d done. I was a whirlwind of emotions, and I couldn’t sort myself out correctly. I had to get back to the others and let them know what I had done. I had to tell someone, and I knew that they were the only ones I could tell. They would understand. They were the only ones who would understand. We were the Heirs of Voldemort, after all, and Voldemort had killed.

 

As I moved, I imagined their expressions upon hearing the news. None of them had killed. None of them had had a chance yet. They would be jealous that I was moving faster than them, even him.

 

I wasn’t quite sure why I valued Jonathan Macnair’s opinion in the least, but it was simply a fact of truth. I did seek his approval, although I would never admit it. Oh, no, I couldn’t allow him to know that. He already viewed himself as the leader of us, when in reality he was not. I had told him at one point that he could have my position, but those words had been foolish and nothing but empty syllables.

 

I had to keep my place, for now at least. Perhaps Jonathan would exceed me in time, but for now, with Kamilla and I under the protection of countless more powerful Death Eaters, I had to stay put. Marcella Renee was expectant of her daughter and me. She had chosen us to form the HoV, and we had. We had to stay in power. It was not Jon’s time quite yet.

 

Shivering slightly as a cold breeze blew by, I wrapped my cloak tighter around me and looked ahead, seeing the dim lights of a few familiar buildings. I was almost there. It wouldn’t be long, now, and they would know. Perhaps Marcella would be proud, too.

 

Then a thought hit me; what if she wasn’t? What if, instead of the admiration and respect I was hoping for, all I received was an accusation of foolishness. I wouldn’t have that humiliation. I hadn’t been foolish. I’d only done what was necessary. I’d even gone so far as to destroy the evidence. The man would be burned to a crisp by morning – no one would recognize him or be able to trace him to me. Everything had gone flawlessly.

 

Still, I pulled the hood of my cloak over my head and quickened my pace. I didn’t want anyone to see me, even though I’d left the scene of the crime far behind. Stirring suspicion in the Commoners’ hearts was not the best of ideas, so it would do me well were I to hurry.

 

I reached the street in moments, and after flagging down the bus and riding it to a different location I once again took a moment to inspect my new wand. Perhaps I wouldn’t tell them, perhaps I’d hide it. Then they wouldn’t be able to tell me I had been foolish – they would go on blindly accusing me of not being able to be a true Death Eater, while I hid my secrets from them deep inside.

 

I didn’t know what to do.

 

Slowly moving along the lonely streets, I was thankful for night’s cover in that very few people were out and about. The fewer humans around the better, for I couldn’t enter our hideout until the coast was clear. Anyone could have been a spy, and we couldn’t be found. I didn’t want to imagine what punishment Marcella and the other higher-ups would inflict were I to blow our location’s cover.

 

I was almost at the end of the street when I gave a cautious glance around and ensured nobody was around. Finding myself alone, I collected myself and stepped up to the door, rapping on it’s surface a few times and uttering the password. The lock clicked open, and I slowly stepped inside, holding an ash wand in one hand and a mahogany one in the other.

 

I would say nothing. I wouldn’t flaunt it. I would treat the entire situation casually and tell them of my actions only if they were to ask.

Reviews

[WriterMe]

This story was beautifully written =] The descriptions were perfect and the emotions carried across well. Haha, I read your profile and you like CSI? Now i can see where you get the perfect imagery of a covered up murder from. But introducing the concept to the Harry Potter world was interesting in its own.
Great work =]

[M. McDonnell]

The reader is transported to the scene by your wonderful description. The story has a good plot and good character depth. I really liked this, especially since it takes place in the Harry Potter world. (: I enjoy your writing style, and I can't wait to read more of your work! (For some reason, I also like that your stories have a very sinister edge. =P)