Lilith

A girl

with eyes like

   prison.

Eyes that were 

chasms,

but with rusty bars,

and doors

that shook

in the faintest,

slightest 

breeze.

One could break her

so 

easily;

her columns were

   cracked --

tossed by seas of

heavy, foul

emotion.

She bled moonlight

every weekend,

and stitched her wounds

at night

with

   poison.

And yet,

with barely

one 

   word,

her breath ensnared 

my very soul,

and quickly, then,

she

was 

   a God.

Author's Note

Reviews and critique are loved and will be returned. I would really appreciate some constructive criticism; I will match the effort you put into your review when I review one of your pieces.<3

I post more of my poetry to my facebook page than here. Give it a like if you want to see more. (:
https://www.facebook.com/sahar.poetics

Reviews

[Mockingbird]

sounds like a love so intense where the narrator worships the ground she walks on. she may be the epitome of darkness but his love for her is strong enough to take her for what she is.

[Tom]

"She bled moonlight
every weekend,
and stitched her wounds
at night
with
poison."

This is awesome !

[J. Kell]

Wow I love this. "She bled moonlight every weekend, and stitched her wounds with poison". Great line. This poem has a dark haunting quality that I love in writing.

[Rae]

This was beautiful, honestly one of the best things I've read in a while. I love how you use words that don't quite make sense, I've always been a huge fan of that. Awesome job!

[Britt Foster]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Emily B]

I would definitely like to see more of your poetry here. This is amazing.

[Britt Foster]

Why thank you. (: