The Last Time I Saw You

I lost one of my friends two months ago and I am still sorting things out but there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him...

No
It can't be
I won't believe it
It's not your end
Can't I see you again?
No?
What do you mean no?
Why not?
You're gone...
You were here...
Now you're not?
Everything is becoming so clear!
But why do you feel so near?
Why can't I reach you?
See you?
Hear you?
This is all so new
New to me... yet so familiar all along
This pain!
Why is it crippling me?
This cannot be!
I want to scream!
But I can't...
I can't even make a sound
We were driving don't you remember?
You have to!
How is it so clear to me now but so murky then?
The last time I'll ever see you on this Earth
We were listening to Foster the People
We were singing "Take a sip of something poison. Take a sip of something poison."
I took that sip...
I must have
This is why I'm going insane and I'm to blame
Right?
You nearly ran over a cat
How I wish I was that cat
Then I wouldn't have to feel this way
I'm so alone in this dark place
The darkness closes in on me
Can't you see?
It scares me!
Scares me to death!
If only that we're true
You sped the whole way there
Was life to slow for you?
Because it seems like it was pretty fast for you
I hate you!
Because I miss you
When will I see you?
When?
When?
I have to keep waiting but patience is what I keep hating
How do I let go of you?
I don't know!
When can I say goodbye?
So long!
See ya on the other side!
Now
I guess now is the time
Bye

Author's Note

Loosing someone is a burden but for me in a way it was also a blessing because that is when I took refuge in Gods arms and strengthened me when I was weak... That was when I truly got to know god... I've only been going to church for the past 7 months and its crazy to think that so much can happen but a lot did happen. I have much more love in this place then I ever would being lost

Reviews

[Meliss@k]

Wow. You are a strong person and I can already tell that you are becoming a strong Christian. I loved how honest you were in this poem, although I'm sure it was painful to write. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[British Brittany]

Thank you! That means a lot. I'd be lying to myself if I'd say that his death didn't change a big part of my life.