The Colour Maroon

Was close to putting back the pieces

When he crashed into my life.

Without any consideration or remorse

he Watched me shatter across the floor.

And before his dark eyes,

I got on my hands and knees

Began to gather those pieces

Just like I had six short months ago. 

But like glass they dug into my open wounds

So I choked back the tears.

My blood dried,

Painting it all maroon.

He was the colour maroon.

His rough hands covered me with love,

Explored every inch of my body with his soft kiss.

Numbed me of the pain.

Then with those same hands,

He reached into me,

Touched my heart

And ripped it from my still beating chest. 

Author's Note

would love any comments or criticisms, thanks for reading!

Reviews

[nostal]

Coolio. This is a poem and it is a poem and it is a poem.

[Sami Khalil]

"So I choked back the tears.

My blood dried,

Painting it all maroon.




He was the colour maroon.

His rough hands covered me with love,

Explored every inch of my body with his soft kiss.

Numbed me of the pain.'

A very nice poem. I like those lines the most...:)

[Briony Bryant]

Thank-you! I'm happy that you liked it! Thanks for reading!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Wolfwind]

Even though this piece was about heartbreak and filled with a angry and sorrowful tone... i couldn't help but find mirth in it as well as my mind translated the color "Maroon" to sound like...Moron... I grin, for I feel that in the context of the ink, since the piece was about an ex and his actions... moron might just be applicable as well.

Your style in this piece was rough and rugged in my opinion. It came across with the severity and harshness of one who's been hit by the freight train of heartbrake and feels the pain of it.

Personally, I felt that the piece could read a bit smoother if you didn't start lines with words such as "And" or "But" Those words are filler words in a piece such as this and I felt they took some of the energy away from it. That's just my opinion though. =)

Overall, the piece performed well and conveyed a strong feeling and emotion.

Thanks for sharing!
Aaron - Wolfwind

[Briony Bryant]

Haha thank-you for that! I would have never been able to see the similarity between the words "Maroon" as "moron" if you didn't point that out, that is definitely a funny and accurate coincidence.

I really struggle with trying to find other words to replace "And" or "But" with all my writings. So that's something I am working on always, and I think I'll work on editing this specific piece and try to find words to replace or a way for it to flow without them!

Thank-you so much for your input and thanks for reading!