Returned to Sender

I received it last night. :)

Returned to Sender

To think that

You came onto me

In seventh grade

French class, to be specific

Wearing this odd clothing

Let’s be real here

You were either a rainbow

Or a leprechaun

And I was a judgemental little shithead

Who didn’t see past looks

I used to be the most horrible person

I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet

But you

You were your own person

While I was just a seran-wrapped version

of something

“original”

You were the epitome of creativity

And now, you look back on yourself as if you were the weird one

False

You were one of the few people

Who actually knew what it meant

To express yourself

But you

You looked at me in seventh grade like I was too cool for you

And,

To this day,

I still blush

and shudder

at the thought of that

Because, to think I’m too cool for someone

is a blessing and a curse

To think

I could be so rude

and shallow

and

indecent

For you to not even want

to TRY to talk to me

Well, that’s horrible

Considering just how lonely

I was back then

And how lonely I am now

Staring across from you at your dining room table

17 Years Old

Still “too cool” for you

When in reality

You’re too cool for me

You have faithful friends

You have a loving family

You have a sibling that cares for you 100%

You have a pet companion you can talk to

And, much like your own work,

Don’t pity me

Don’t you dare pity me

I don’t need it

I don’t want it.

I want you

to want me

like I

want you

Because lately,

I’ve been feeling alone

I don’t even feel at home

In my own bones

I want to open my ribs

I want to open my lungs

I want to open my f*****g heart

to let you in, but it’s hard

You can blatantly tell me you love me and

want to be with me forever

But, news flash

I

will

still

not

believe

the

words

you

are

saying

to

me

It’s not you, it’s me

I’ve been shoved so far under the mud and rocks

That I can’t open

my ribs,

or lung,

or heart

Because I can barely even breathe

How can something so beautiful and flawed (Don’t worry, nobody’s purfict)

Possibly think that something

As tattered

and calloused

and indifferent

and insensitive

and unforgiving

and rude

and annoying

and cruel

as myself

is anywhere NEAR

too cool for you?

I just hope

that one day

the sun and the moon

will collide

and sparks will fly

like the fourth of July

and your realize that

my eyes have been hooked to yours

since the first day i came over and formally met you guys

We are one in the same

To say I think like a girl is no shame

Because life isn’t a game

It’s reality

and unlike police brutality

it can’t go unspoken of

So here I am

Conveying to you

What I’ve, for the last few months of my life

been trying to say to you

I love you, dear, my heart’s yours to keep if you want it, I’m not much of a lender

I just hope that one day,

Maybe your heart

Will return to sender

Reviews

[Elwyn]

This will never actually not make me shake

[bringthestoke]