Explode

I can't wait to get to know her more.

Explode

Today was the best day of my life
It was like every other day,
It's just another sleepless night
So I decided to collect my emotions
I'm starting to write
Still to this day, I'm continuing the fight
Still to this day, I'm hastily searching for the light
But today is the best day of my life
The feelings I had for her have finally died
I can finally feel whole inside
I finally filled the empty hole with self pride
And finally
I have moved on to something else
Something better
She's beautiful
She's a time bomb
She's a beautiful soul with a horrible temper
She's a lit fuse
I have to be careful with what I do
And you may be thinking
She sounds like a monster
But f**k you for thinking that
She's an angel with a tampered past
Far more s**t has gone down for her than my other girlfriends
Especially my last
She was sitting like a queen while my time bomb sat like a Raggedy Ann
She faced alot of hardship so she ran
She dropped her quirks and turned to perks
Thank God she's sober
Thank God it's over
Thank God you saved this beautiful soul
Because at seventeen years old,
I can't say I love her
I barely know her
But I know I'm crazy about her
And I know I would love to love her

Reviews

[Elwyn]

I think you're strongest point (at least in writing) is the placement of this phenomenal one-liners. I love love love, "She was sitting like a queen while my time bomb sat like a Raggedy Ann" I love that you're calling her YOUR time bomb. I love that you are comparing her to a time bomb, I love that you love her temper because it's putting a lot of strong feelings behind this poem. It's subtly implying that you accept EVERY part of her, temper and all. I love when you tell the reader, "f**k you for thinking that" because you're showing that you're already willing to fight for her. I feel as though there's A LOT behind this poem, there's a lot the reader can assume and take away, almost as if the story reaches far deeper than the paper it's on. This is a beautiful poem, and I hope this girl realizes how lucky she is. My favorite line is the last one, "And I know I would love to love her" because of it's honesty. People rush into the "I love yous" or they say it without meaning it just to get the girl/guy, but you are up-front about your feelings and it is so important to want to love someone anyway that we always forget about it. We take it for granted. People may fall in love without wanting to and it is certainly not the same as wanting to.

[bringthestoke]

Oh my gosh thank you so much :) you hit the exact points I wanted people to touch on because those are what I wanted people to take away from this. I appreciate the support!

[Elwyn]

No problem! I am actually a huge fan of your stuff! Not JUST because I know you, but even if I didn't know you :)

[bringthestoke]

Thanks a ton haha I write what I feel and I feel what I write :P

[misha]

This is such a sweet poem about a girl who seems to have been through a lot. It is amazing to be loved by those that love us for our hardships instead of just turning away. I have been lucky enough to meet someone who loved the broken parts of me and my past and it seems to me that this girl could easily be loved by you. This is such a beautiful write. Great job!!

[bringthestoke]

Thank you so much, it really means alot for you to connect with my writing and share my thoughts and enotions. I look forward to more reviews!:)

[misha]

You are welcome :-)