Autumn (We Dance)

I AM AWARE THAT PROPER CAPITALIZATION DOES NOT CONSIST OF SEASONS

The world seemed to end this summer

A sour taste on my lips and regrets burnt into my skin

Still Autumn came like an angel,

Gown of fallen leaves weaved and fluttering in the new breeze

Beckoning with the fragrance of crisp apple and rainy earth

And kind eyes, beaming like floodlights

I took the hand of Autumn

And we danced

New memories

Better memories

Shimmering in our wake

Of homecoming parades and voices sung raw

Cold nights and warm fires and friends

To share the tang of apple cider and uncontrollable grins with

I know that I am too weary to go on much longer

And someday soon Autumn will let me go

To be held in the arms of Winter

But as of this moment

I have finally spun the sadness of summer away

And the breathless, joyous dance of autumn goes on

Author's Note

Please, I Very Much Require Criticism, I did this in 15 ish minutes and I'm having qualms. Please be nice though because I am anxious and an amateur thanks.

Arriam

Reviews

[Spilt]

this is legit the most beautiful description of a season I've ever read and it describes autumn so beautifully

[barleygirl]

I love the way you personify the seasons as possible lovers or dance partners. I love the way you convey the regret that summer is leaving, yet convincingly you embrace autumn with a little hesitance. This is an awesome tapestry of autumn imagery well expressed & the scramble of feelings that changing seasons can bring. Please do not worry about capitalization or punctuation . . . what you convey is what matters & don't let anyone get you wrapped around the axle about your style (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Arriam]

Most definitely dance partners. I've learned that the truth is the absolute most important thing about a poem (to me), and I'll try not to be wrapped around any axles from now on. Thank you so much for your generosity!
Arriam

[Verse]

I’m liking it!!! This write is turning my thoughts around, making me think differently about poor cousin autumn. I can see and feel autumn and winter and summer for that matter in your words. Loving the dance image, which brings everything down to the tactile sense. So much of comfort is embedded in touch, and you give a physics lesson here. Hot is not always warm. Cool is not always cold. :):)

Amazing for 15 mins of writing.

One small logic thing ... the shimmering wake of memories to come? Maybe it was meant to be swirling and cryptic, and if so, leave it as is.

V

[Arriam]

Swirling and cryptic? Sure. Why not. It's up to you. I love this image of grace too, especially considering that I'd probably step of Autumn's toes. Thank you kindly for your review!
Arriam

[Verse]

My pleasure, Arriam! A lovely write. :):)

[LazerRays]

Wow arriam, yet another majestic poem :D the words really come to life and I can envision autumn dancing with you. I can feel the cold wind and the smell of frost. I really want apple cider now haha- I'll probably make some this week (got a cider press; yay!)
I love how you tied autumn into letting you go with winter around the corner. Such great metaphors are used in this :)

[Arriam]

Thank you very much for your kindness!
Arriam