Timeless

qawsedrftgyhujikolkmkjnhbgvfcdxsd

Among the other oddities of us as a concept

We were completely undefined.

We were timeless.

Where did we begin?

On that first day in January where I heard he liked me,

He reviewed my terrible love poem and knew too much too soon?

On the miserably cold afternoon

Where he confessed everything via letter

And turned my whole world upside down?

The February evening

Where he blindly called me beautiful

And wanted to let the world know I was his?

Perhaps even the night in April

Where we were first alone together,

Sitting in Adirondack chairs, looking over the neighborhood

Young and in love and hand in hand?

Perhaps it was then, perhaps a minute or a moment in between.

Where did we end?

Was it that warm and lovely mid-day July moment

Where he ran his hands through my hair and kissed me fiercely, like there was no tomorrow,

Neither of us knowing that would be his last sincerely affectionate moment?

Was it the day I went to Paris,

Where I tried to say goodbye and he didn’t say anything?

Was it every single day in August,

When I tried to talk to him, to make plans,

And I slowly started to realize something wasn’t right?

Was it that unbearable September day

The final, empty kiss that came with sweet words

And undoubtedly didn’t mean a damn thing to him?

Was it the moment the flash drive of my old love poems to him

Left his hand and came into mine,

Leaving me with nothing left of him but memories

He couldn’t care less about?

Perhaps it was then, perhaps every single instance

Every heartbeat

Every breath in between

We were, of all things to remember us by,

Utterly timeless-

In a way that makes letting go

Like trying to remember something that never happened,

And trying to forget the only thing in the world.

Simply and utterly timeless.

Author's Note

McSadness, the completely unreviewed jazz

Reviews

[Spilt]

This is so heart breakingly beautiful, and it honestly made me want to break down into tears. I really don't think that he doesn't care about you still because this is the kind of passionate love that leaves both parts of the heart broken. I really hope your heart is healing!

[Arriam]

It is, and I hate to say it but I've got a bit of doubt in your first statement.

[Einstein Noodle]

nice and intelligent work with "time" ..creative, unique take on the story of love ;) i hung in the moment of pause at the turn you so nicely make clear "where did we end?" ... every line is relatable to all who have taken love's journeys ..and there are many of them in one's life isn't there?! :} i think the closing is .... well.... timeless ... i was drawn in and held the whole time ..at my age every line is a reminiscing ...thank goodness ;)))))))))
E.
ps. emmajoy told me to come and read this .. and i always do what emma says ;) see you around!

[Arriam]

I'm truly sorry I didn't respond to this earlier, but thank you so, so very much for your review! I'm glad I was able to keep your attention, and I hope the reminiscing was a pleasant kind.
Fondly,
Arriam

[Eve]

I really loved reading this. I think almost everyone can relate to this in some way or another. It is very honest and very clear as to how you look at the story. I like how you give us a summarized timeline, giving your readers time but also showing how you were timeless.
I especially like how you end the poem, "Simply and utterly timeless." It is the perfect way to end a piece like this. Amazing, well done.

[Arriam]

Thank you very much for your kindness!!

[Eve]

Thank you for sharing!

[The Immortal Phoenix]

I dont know why I like this peace. It could be a bunch of resions but I know I like it. Good read

[Arriam]

Thank you!

[Mrudula Rani]

The trajectory of your love affair is laid beautifully. And kinda obvious from the beginning that he is a needy type! Out of sight, out of mind? If a short separation could end a relationship .... this is not the type of relationship you should be in... any relationship ships when ends leaves a trail of sad memories!

[Arriam]

Good memories with a sad outlook, and your observation is something I never considered before. Thank you very much for leaving a review, and have a nice day/evening/afternoon!

[Mrudula Rani]

You are most welcome. Good Night, and have a wonderful weekend.

[mattavelli]

Hello, Arriam! :)
I think this was a lovely way to describe a relationship and the feelings involved, the highlights. The contemplative tone made it interesting, compelling. The closing was ambiguous enough to leave me with something to ponder, "what does she mean by Timeless". Thanks for sharing. :)

[Arriam]

I really ought to have mentioned this somewhere, but this is a twisting of this person's words, this "timeless" concept. Thank you very much for reviewing!

[Nolo Segundo]

Though the details differ, you've caught well the rhythm of a romance from first attraction to break-up, reminding me of the several I experienced in youth. I see now they helped prepared me for the commitment needed for a 40 year relationship, kinda like the training wheels on a bike. Your last stanza is truly profound!

[Arriam]

Well, it ends well either way- a life long love, or a lesson. I'd wager they're equally as pivotal. Thank you for your generous and insightful review!

[barleygirl]

This is brilliant, in a deceivingly simple "aw-shucks" style! I love how you use questioning as a way to tell the story of an attraction that lasts a lifetime. You pick just enuf events to sketch out this lifetime but not going on & on too long, keeping the pacing of your storytelling nice & brisk. The life events you choose are kind of commonplace, not wildly imaginative, & yet super relatable . . . but the way you express yourself, the wording of each of these commonplace happenings sounds so bright & compelling instead of ordinary. Not ordinary at all. This is very refreshing writing (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Arriam]

A lifetime, indeed. I'm absolutely thrilled to have received such a stunningly thoughtful review, and for it to be so overwhelmingly positive! Thank you so, so unbelievably much!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Your wordings while simple, hold too much meaning for me, and are beautifully laid. Some things are equally painful whether we manage to forget them or remember...
Thanks to Emmajoy for sending an RR of this. Nice to read you.

[Arriam]

It was just as lovely to hear from you! Thank you for stopping by, and for your generosity!

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and wonderful poetry shared.
"We were, of all things to remember us by,
Utterly timeless-
In a way that makes letting go
Like trying to remember something that never happened,
And trying to forget the only thing in the world."
I enjoyed the complete poem. The above lines stood out to me. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Arriam]

Well, thank you very much, and I'm delighted to have resonated with you!