let me be your geisha

let me be your geisha......  14.5 2010

 

let me be your geisha.

 

come and talk with me.

 

let us sip the best

                         jasmine tea,

                                        prepared

                                                   lovingly.

 

i’ll massage your soul,

caress your thoughts,

unwind your body

til you fall

               softly,

                       gently,

into the folds of my kimono.

 

let me be your geisha.

Reviews

[Michael G.]

A very sensual, lovely write.

[Ed Hart]

i'm thinking, i'm thinking

I enjoyed this write. Very nicely written.

[Aarontastic]

Nice work :) asking permission to be somebody's geisha is like the ultimate expression of love, but also an act of submission, because geisha's are basically entertainers who are at the beck and call of their customers. That is what I was thinking anyway.

I like the structure of your poem, esp. how two of the lines descend like staircases, which emphasizes each word that makes up the line. In the second instance (til you fall/softly/gently) that was particularly cool because it was reminiscent of the act of gently falling which the poem was describing....and 'unwinding the body' until it falls 'into the folds of my kimono' is a beautiful line that conveys utter relaxation and carelessness.

Overall, the whole poem feels delicate and gentle just like I'd imagine a geisha would be, nice job