The Fairies and The Cowboy Part I

- someone left a comment, something about "fairies drool, cowboys rule", the fairies took exception. Can't imagine who would piss off the fairies

 

The Cowboy rode across the land

Upon his noble steed

Of the warnings he’d been told of late

He chose to take no heed

 

He’d heard the legends and the tales

Of fairies far and wide

How gentle they may seem to be

How fast could turn the tide

 

He laughed to think that anyone

Would fear these tiny beings

How fearsome could their magic be

When his thumb outsized their wings?

 

He sang a tune, soft and low

As the moon began to rise

Settled himself upon the ground

Pulled down his hat to cover his eyes

 

An Earth fairy laughed to find him there

Softly snoring in his slumber

Beneath the ground she quickly flew

As the Cowboy dreamt of thunder

 

Mounds of dirt began to rise

Heavy with twigs and rocks

Tossing and turning he struggled to find

A comfortable resting spot

 

Diligently worked the tiny fairy

Silently giggling with mirth

Finishing her assigned duties

Just as dawn lit up the earth

 

The Cowboy mounted his trusted horse

With a long and painful stride

He winced and shifted upon the saddle

Dreading this day’s ride

Reviews

[Robert Luna]

Ha Ha Ha. That will teach him about messing with fairies. He has to remember also that fairies are friends with most elves and if an elf put you on it enemy list buddy you are in for so major trouble. I loved your story and felt you craft a tale that I would love to see turned into a story. I think it has a wonderful idea and I could so easily see it become a story.


Great Job!!!!!!

I really like the rhyme scheme. The description of the fairy is brilliant. Right now I'm going to read the second part. :)

[Nick Erickson]

This is good. I like how the stubborn cowboy just couldn't imagine such a tiny being being able to give him trouble.

Well done!!

[John Stussy]

You sent the second part to me, so I decided to read the first part, first. Poor cowboy, he sort of deserves it but still. He's brave enough to go ahead and see what the fairies are all about. Go cowboy!

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

This is one of the best poems I ve read in a while. Good job. Thank you for sharing, Debileah

[Brette Medb]

Ha! Witty and definitely filled with morals. No matter the size or the power there is always a reason to fear those smaller than ourselves and we're always weakest when we're sleeping : ) The rhyme was perfect, I loved the feel!


Great write.

Brette

[Charisma Moonfairy]

I love it. that is what he gets for underestimating something so "fragile" as a fairy. A wonderful read and write throughout the entire poem.

[Jazmyne]

i will have to agree...this so could be a very nice story. your poem is very cute! when i read this i could imagine this cowboy trying to sleep tossing and turning but cant b/c what he thought was the tough ground. i could hear the fairy laughing as she messes with his sleep!! very well written, cant wait to read more from you.

[Celtic Cat]

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO great!!!! You know, I have a few fairy books and stories at home...but it's your stuff I prefer. Man....you could be the Official Spokesperson for the fairies! This piece was fantastic from start to finish...not a word out of place. Stupid Cowboy! lol Thanks....I needed this little slice of playfulness. I know you're currently on a break.....but don't EVER stop 'em coming. Your stories and poems really light up my day. Much love~

[Dani California]

This is fantastic!! Wow.... and I agree with RL, this could easily become a story.

And let me not forget one important factor here. .... haha cowboy!! haha! lol

Loved it!

[[untitled]]

Well, after reading your bio, I had better give a constructive review! I love how people regurgitate the same s**t the person before them said, only worded oh so slightly differently. Take my suggestions as you will, they are just my personal opinion. Like the rest before me have said, this is an enjoyable poem. The idea is a fresh one, and I liked mischief and humor.

The only thing I would work on is word use, it can really impact the flow. As well as using simple poetic devices like alliteration could take this piece a long way.

"How fast could turn the tide"---- i would change "could" to "can" it would sound better.
"Finishing her assigned duties"---this line seemed out of place... faeries always remind me of mischief and spunk, and not so much having tasks assigned for them to do...me being knit picky, but just a thought.

Also beware the rhyming. I always find rhyming frustrating. Because for a poem with rhymes, they need to be consistent and perfect for the poem to really work. Which can be a horrible pain in the a*s no doubt. Here are two parts I felt could use some playing around with:

"Would fear these tiny beings
When his thumb outsized their wings?"

And

"Heavy with twigs and rocks
"A comfortable resting spot" ---- though I do like the overall flow of this stanza, if you can find a way to make the rhyming seamless, it would be even better.

Well I hope that was helpful. People can get a little angry with me when I give them an honest review. I mean well, and do not mean to come off badly. I just don't like blowing smoke up people's asses.

Enjoyable read =) keep it up!

Cheers
Clara